


Herald's Vision

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2621654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It began as separate boys' and girls' nights; perfectly innocent. Or as innocent as two packs of teenagers can be. But, when the girls patch into the boys' video feed for some spying, and the bored Herald decides to show his friends the future, what both groups see is anything but expected. It might be the start of an adventure that could change all of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Glimpse

**Author's Note:**

> This was just some weirdness that came to me.  
> I don't own Teen Titans, and I don't own some of the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire references that make their way in here.

Raven had never been to a “slumber party,” nor had she ever had any particular desire to go to one, but when Bumblebee insisted on kicking her teammates out of her tower for “girl time,” Starfire had taken it as an invitation to drag them both across the country. By the time they got there, the tower had been bombarded by females and their paraphernalia. Kole, Pantha, Argent, and Jinx were among the several women painting their nails and gossiping about boys. The stupidest thing they had done was start a drinking game, which revealed secrets and crushes and other things Raven wished had gone unsaid, and left the inhabitants of the Titans East tower in varying degrees of drunkenness. So far, slumber parties were unfortunately exactly like what she had occasionally read about. 

Beast Boy had also read a bit about slumber parties. Or, more accurately, he'd watched a bit about slumber parties. While he hadn't expected the girls' slumber party to be exactly like those strictly educational films he only occasionally watched, especially with someone like Raven there, he was a bit disappointed in what he'd seen since Cyborg had patched the Titans Tower into the Titans East connection. There hadn't been a single pillow fight, he'd dozed through an excruciating two hours of whatever Channing Tatum movie they'd put in, and Kid Flash's bragging about how hot it was that Jinx swung both ways seemed more and more like an exaggeration. The most interesting thing the girls had done was play a drinking game where Beast Boy had learned some very interesting things about his fellow titans, particularly a certain sorceress's hidden fondness for the color green. He was still measuring the pros and cons of teasing her about it when she came home. 

“I wonder what the guys are doing?” Kole asked. 

“Probably the same thing we are,” Jinx replied. “Drinking and bitching about stuff.”

“Well, she's half-right,” Speedy commented from across the country. “but most of our bitching is because Robin won't let us drink.” He punched the Boy Wonder on the shoulder. 

“Ow!” Annoyed, Robin punched him back before turning his attention back on the screen. 

On the screen, Bumblebee, who had been lounging on the floor suddenly sat up. “We don't have to guess what the boys are doing. We can just watch them!”

“What do you mean?” Argent asked. 

“What does she mean?” Kid Flash asked, suddenly looking worried. 

“I mean,” Bumblebee explained, “We can play around with the connection between this tower and the one in Jump and hook into their video feeds. We can literally know exactly what they're doing! Sparky showed me how!”

“Shit!” Cyborg yelled, panicked. “Fucking shit!” He bolted over to the controls as Bumblebee went to her computer across the country. Cyborg managed to turn the boys' connection off right when Bumblebee turned the girls' connection on. 

“So, are they—” Beast Boy started. 

“Yo, shut up, man!” Cyborg smacked the back of his head. 

“Ow!”

“What are they talking about?” Kole asked. 

“Something stupid, I'm sure.” Raven replied, not looking up from a book she seemed to have pulled from nowhere. Given the nature of her powers, that assumption was fairly likely. Marking her place, she looked up at the computer screen which broadcast a view of the boys gathered in the original Titans' tower. They were all silent and looked rather uncomfortable, darting looks between one another. 

“Do they know we're watching?” Raven asked. 

“They shouldn't.” Bumblebee replied. She tapped the screen and yelled. “Yo, Sparky! You hear me?!”

None of the boys onscreen reacted. Bumblebee looked at her operating board. 

“It says we've got a one way connection, and they didn't answer me. We can see them, but they can't see us.”

“I didn't expect them to be this boring.” Jinx commented. 

“Perhaps we have caught them at an awkward time?” Starfire suggested diplomatically.

“Perhaps.” Raven echoed. She was moving to pick up her book when Herald broke the silence in the other tower. 

“So... you guys wanna see the future?”

“What are we going to see?” Kid Flash asked. 

Herald shrugged. “Something random probably. I can only pick where the horn takes me if I go to an alternate dimension. The future's a whole different animal.”

“We won't be affecting the future by looking, will we?” Robin asked, and Raven nodded her approval at his question.

“Everything we do affects the future.” Herald replied. 

“Not helpful.” Robin retorted, and Herald shrugged. 

“I think it's sounds awesome,” Beast Boy chimed in. “I say we do it!”

Internally, Raven snorted at Beast Boy's suggestion. He would. 

“I'm not sure it's a good idea...” Robin started. 

“Come on, Rob,” Cyborg interrupted. “He said it would be something random, so the odds of it being either important or about us are pretty slim.”

“I say do it.” Speedy added. 

Kid Flash nodded. “Do it.”

Jericho gave a thumbs up, and Mas and Menos began chattering excitedly in Spanish. Herald took those as “yeses.”

“Let's do it.” He picked up his horn, twisted the mouthpiece a certain way, and then blew. In front of them, a portal ripped open, and through it, the boys, and the girls by extension, could see through it. Robin leveled a glare at Cyborg. 

“Pretty slim, huh?”

Cyborg just grinned sheepishly. 

Inside the portal, everyone could see that a fight was going on. Though they were older, and their outfits had changed rather dramatically in some cases, it was obvious who the combatants were. Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy were fighting an older Mumbo.

“Dude, Mumbo's not dead by then?” Beast Boy demanded. “We look like we're like fifteen years older!”

“I'd say ten.” Jinx speculated in the other tower. She cocked her head. “And Robin looks gooood.” She eyed his new black and blue uniform appreciatively. 

Starfire glared at her before looking back at the screen just in time to see Mumbo throw some kind of spell. It hit older Beast Boy, sending him smack into a building, and he slumped to the ground, unconscious. 

“Dude!” young Beast Boy whined. 

“Changeling!” Older Starfire yelled. 

“At least I get a cool, new name.” Beast Boy commented as the older Starfire flew over to “Changeling” and tried to shake him awake.

“Don't bother!” Mumbo taunted. “He's in a trance! And he'll stay that way until I'm long gone!”

Angry, Starfire put Changeling down and flew at Mumbo, hurling starbolts. However, rather than following her to focus on the battle, the portal remained focused on Changeling. 

“Are we just going to stare at Beast Boy's carcass until this vision thing is over?” Speedy asked sarcastically. 

Though she didn't admit it (and never would), watching the older Beast Boy for the remainder of the vision didn't seem all that terrible an idea to Raven. This Changeling was taller, more muscular, and very obviously more mature. He was a man, and even in the brief moment she got to watch him fight, he seemed to carry himself with more dignity and wisdom than Raven had seen in anyone, even Robin. It appealed to her in a way that not even the handsome Aqualad had, something that both confused and irritated her. Shaking her head to clear it of the foolish thoughts, she watched the screen and was surprised to see the vision closing in on Changeling. When it got to his forehead, the scene suddenly changed, and all they could see was an icy tundra. A blizzard was blowing full force, complete with shrieking wind, and rapidly falling snow being whipped around in all directions. In the middle of the landscape, “Changeling” was hunched over, rubbing his arms for warmth and looking around. 

“Nightwing?” he yelled. 

“This future sucks.” Beast Boy declared, and Robin tried to shush him. “Seriously! Where even am I?” He glared at Robin for trying to shush him again. 

“Starfire!” Changeling called. He started walking. 

“I think we're in your future self's head, man.” Herald guessed. 

Beast Boy looked back and forth between Herald and his horn. “You can do that?”

The Herald shrugged. “I guess so.”

Changeling cupped his hands around his mouth and practically roared. “CYBORG!!”

For a few minutes, everyone was silent as they watched Changeling make his way through the tundra, calling for his teammates. Once, he even turned himself into a howler monkey and let out a bloodcurdling screech that probably could have been heard for miles. He turned back into himself and called for “Nightwing” again. 

“I just noticed something. How come you're not asking Raven for help?” Kid Flash asked. 

Confused, Beast Boy looked back at the portal. “I don't know.”

“Does this Changeling not know you would help him if he asked, Raven?” Starfire asked. 

“If he doesn't, he's an even bigger idiot then, than he is now.” Raven answered. However, her terse reply didn't quite mask the concern Starfire heard in her tone. 

“I guess he just knows Raven would smack him for getting into that mess.” young Beast Boy joked, and the other boys laughed. Raven glared at the screen. She opened her mouth to let out a pointless insult, but Bumblebee spoke first. 

“I think Changeling sees something.”

See something he did. Everyone watched intently as Changeling quickened his steps to get to what looked like some kind of bunker. It was a rectangular building that looked to be about seventy feet long, twenty feet high, and maybe forty feet wide. The length side was facing Changeling, and he could see what looked like two metal doors in the middle of the rectangle. 

“That looks like the door to the ops center.” Beast Boy commented, and Robin and Cyborg agreed. When the changeling was a couple of feet from the doors, they slid open, and he rushed inside the building. 

“Not smart,” Robin admonished. “An enemy could be in there.”

“I think I'd rather fight somebody than freeze to death.” Cyborg commented. 

“Apparently, I would too.” Beast Boy replied, watching his older self rub the cold from his arms and stomp the snow from his boots. The inside of the place looked as grey and grim as the outside, but Changeling appeared to be warming up. Beast Boy was surprised at how similar the bunker thing was to the hallway outside the ops center. Cautiously, his older self walked forward to another set of double doors. The slid open, and he entered a brightly lit room that was an exact replica of the ops center in the original Titans tower. The room appeared to be unoccupied, but when he took a few steps forward, everyone in both rooms could see the pale woman sitting on the floor in front of the couch. It looked like she had a doll sitting on the floor in front of her; a cherub-like creature with mint green skin, forest green curls, and large eyes that matched the color of her hair. The doll theory was quickly discarded when it moved and giggled loudly at the woman in front of her. It was a baby. Changeling froze where he stood.

“No...” 

The woman looked up, and everyone was surprised when they saw an older version of Raven. The woman's eyes widened. 

“I guess that means she's not dead, then.” Speedy commented.

“Gar...” she said, and Changeling looked pained. He took a few steps forward, and when he did speak, it was in a language Beast Boy had never heard before. 

“Jini athmovezar qoyi ven athmovezar fini fich yera anhoon—”

Across the country, Raven let out a gasp. The girls were surprised by her unusual display of emotion.

“What's going on?” Bumblebee asked. 

Cyborg nudged Beast Boy. “What are you saying?”

He shook his head. “I don't know.”

“He's speaking Azarathian.” Raven said thoughtlessly. How did Changeling know her home language? When did she get to trust Beast Boy enough to teach him? More importantly, why was he saying dark magic had taken her from him? She wasn't sure what she should be more disturbed by: the dark magic, it 'taking' her, or it taking her from Beast Boy. 

“What's he saying?!” Jinx demanded. Raven shook her head, and before she realized what was happening, Starfire yanked her mouth to hers. Her eyes went wide, and she shoved the alien away. 

“He said 'this is dark magic, like the magic that took you away from me.'” Initially, Starfire's eyes gleamed with mischief, but the more she said, the more the light in her eyes dimmed, and her smile faded. Perhaps she shouldn't have forced Raven to transfer knowledge. It sounded like they were about to hear something very personal and private, and now the girls would be expecting her to translate. Changeling continued to speak. 

“fini fich yera anhoon hatif…” 

“Took you from me before I could even...” Starfire dutifully translated, looking away from the seething empath next to her. 

“What am I saying?! What's going on?!” Beast Boy demanded. “Why do I look like someone died?!”

“Just a sec, man.” Cyborg was fiddling with the controls in his forearm and mumbling. “Sounds a bit like Sanskrit, lil' Gaelic, tweak this a little, and...” A rapid translation of Changeling's words came from the speaker at Cyborg's wrist.

“Dark magic? Took her away? From me?” Beast Boy asked, confused. 

Irrationally, Raven was annoyed at him for practically echoing her thoughts. That reminded her of her anger at Starfire, and she glared at the alien again. She had the good sense to look ashamed of herself. 

“I don't think you need to translate, Star.” Bumblebee said tactfully. “Sparky's got us covered.”

Raven glared at her and glared at Cyborg as well. Changeling spoke again, this time a small, bitter smile on his face. 

“Maybe I am dead, and I just don't know it yet. Maybe I am with you in the Night Lands.” Cyborg's jury-rigged translator supplied. 

“Wait a second, does this mean she is dead?!” Speedy asked. Despite his usual “cool” demeanor, he looked disconcerted at the prospect, as did some of the other boys. 

Night Lands? She'd actually told Beast Boy about where her people believed they went when they died? What was happening?! Raven wondered. She watched as her older self smiled slightly before replying in the same language. 

Robin noticed that when Raven spoke the strange language, she spoke more quickly, and her voice took on a slightly higher pitch, while losing its raspy quality. 

“Guys, I think that might be Raven's native language.” 

“Or maybe I refused to enter the Night Lands without you,” Cyborg translated. “Maybe I told the Great Mother to go fuck herself and came back here to wait for you.”

“Or maybe not.” Robin amended, raising a brow at the reply. 

Meanwhile, Raven was actually blushing. Cyborg's cheap translator was unfairly accurate. 

In the portal, Changeling let out a soft, but genuine, laugh. 

“That sounds like something you would do.” he replied, and Raven shrugged, looking down at the baby in front of her. 

“She wouldn't have been the first celestial being I've said something like that to.”

“No.” Changeling agreed. He took another few steps forward and sat across from Raven. He looked pointedly at the baby before locking eyes with Raven, a questioning expression on his face. Raven raised an eyebrow at him.

“No. I found this green infant. The fact that she acts just like you and I was pregnant when...” She trailed off, and both of them looked pained for a second, but she quickly finished. “when we last saw each other is a complete coincidence.”

“No fucking way.” young Beast Boy breathed. He had a baby?! With Raven?! Part of him wanted to rebel at the idea of having a child with the prickly sorceress, but the thought of just having a child overwhelmed that. He'd always wanted to have a family of his own someday, but he had given up the idea a long time ago. He thought his DNA was too unstable. 

Raven just stared, goggle-eyed, at the screen. She'd always been told she'd be barren. “Cursed” womb aside, basic biology told her that as a hybrid species, no one's DNA would complement hers. She wasn't sure how she felt about Beast Boy's being able to.

The rest of the titans in both rooms just looked back and forth between the portal and their friends, varying expressions of shock on their faces. 

“Ha ha.” Changeling replied sarcastically. He looked down at the baby again, a tender smile on his face. “Her name?”

Raven smiled slightly as well. “Angela Marie Logan.”

“My little Angel,” Changeling grinned at the little girl. “Because I know how much mama loves irony.”

Raven, both of them, huffed at the comment, but didn't say anything. 

Carefully, as though he was afraid she would disappear, Changeling held out a finger towards the baby and let out a choked laugh when she gripped it. He looked up at Raven. 

“I can feel her. She's real.” His voice had taken on a ragged quality that made of most of the men, especially Beast Boy, uncomfortable, and made most of the women's hearts break. Starfire was already sniffling. The poor man sounded like he was going to break down any second. 

Changeling blinked rapidly and then turned his attention back to the baby. He trailed a finger from his free hand down her petal soft cheek, under her chin, and back up. He tapped her nose lightly, making her giggle. He wrapped one of her curls around a finger before letting it go to trail his finger down her chubby arms, over her belly, and down her legs. He gripped one of her toes and gave it a good shake, making her laugh again. All the while, he stared at her like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. 

“She's real.” he breathed again. He looked up at Raven and reached for her, but before he touched her, she backed away. He pulled back, hurt evident in his expression. 

“Please...” she said, without looking at him. 

Changeling took her hand anyway, and Raven let out a shaky breath. He moved his thumb in circles over the back of her hand. “Did you know that when I lost you, I didn't do all the 'usual' stuff people do when they lose someone they love.” His hand moved up her arm. 

“I didn't drink, or do drugs, or sleep around. Instead, I would just sleep. I'd go to bed early, and I'd sleep late, and if I couldn't sleep, I'd wear myself out until I could. I was able to forget you were gone when I was sleeping, and the hours didn't seem to drag by like when I was awake. Whenever I finally woke up, I'd feel this weird pride that I'd managed to survive another ten, twelve, fourteen hours without you.” His hand stopped at her shoulder, and he gave it a squeeze. 

“The problem with that though, was that when I'd wake up and realize you weren't laying there next to me, I'd feel my heart collapse in on itself all over again.” He caught her chin with his thumb and forefinger and gently turned her head to face him. He leaned forward, so his forehead was pressed to hers. 

“Please let me have this.” he finished in a whisper. 

At that, Starfire let out a loud sob, her heart breaking for her friends, even if they were just older doppelgangers. 

She was far from being the only one affected. Raven was the only one in the Titans East tower who wasn't a bit teary eyed, but she was sure that was only because of years of meditative suppression. Inside though, she felt hollow, like she had lost something she didn't even know she'd needed or even had. 

Across the country, the boys were noticeably affected as well. Tears flowed silently down Jericho's cheeks, and even Kid Flash and Speedy, the ones most likely to mock Beast Boy for showing the kind of emotion his older self was, looked grim. Beast Boy himself had, deep down, viewed this vision as something like a movie when it started. It wasn't real. However, his older self's description of his grief was beyond accurate. He had done something similar when Terra died, napping often, so he could forget for a while. It made him realize, quite painfully, that this was him, and he would be experiencing even more pain and loss. 

In the portal, older Raven gripped the wrist of the hand holding her chin and leaned into Changeling. Just when it looked like their lips were about to connect, the baby interrupted with one word. 

“Tay?” she asked before proceeding to babble the seemingly nonsensical syllable over and over again, bouncing for emphasis. Raven closed her eyes tightly, and Changeling looked confused. 

“What's she saying?”

Raven opened her eyes. 

“I think,” she said in English. “that she's asking if you'll stay.”

Changeling's jaw tensed, but he took a deep breath and relaxed. 

“I don't know,” he admitted. “Am I dead, Rae?”

“I don't think so. This,” She pulled back from Changeling a little to look around the room. “isn't death. This isn't where we were.” She gestured between herself and Angela. 

Changeling cupped the back of her neck and pulled her back to him. “What is it, then? Where am I?”

“It feels like a dream,” Raven answered in Azarathian. “Your dream, my dream… I don't know. All I know is that if this is a dream, I'll kill whoever tries to wake me.”

Once again, Changeling angled his head to try and kiss Raven, but before he could, he heard a sound. 

“Changeling!” It was faint, but it sounded like Nightwing. 

“Come on, man! We need you!” That one was louder and sounded like Cyborg. 

“Wake up!” Starfire's shriek sounded like she was in the room with them, causing Changeling and Raven to break apart in surprise. 

“It's your dream then.” Raven said. Her face had taken on the usual deadpan expression it had sported in life. Changeling just stared at her like the world was falling apart. She pulled her daughter into her lap and angled her head towards the doors. “They need you.” 

Changeling's expression went from heartbroken to grimly determined in an instant. Before Raven could stop him, he grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her mouth to his, kissing her hard. She struggled for a second before shoving one hand through his hair and kissing back with a ferocity that surprised their audience, especially Raven. They broke apart, breathing hard, and when Changeling spoke again, it was in English. 

“I am coming back to you,” he swore. “I promised you I wasn't letting you go, and I meant it.” Raven nodded quickly before gently pushing him away. 

“They still need you.”

“You need me.”

“I can wait. Our friends can't. Go.”

The changeling gave her another quick kiss before standing up. “I'll find you again.”

“Don't sleep your life away.” Raven ordered as Changeling turned away from her. 

“No promises.” he called over his shoulder. He made it to the double doors, and when they slid open, the baby started to cry. Everyone in both rooms cringed at the broken expression that flitted across Changeling's face, but he squared his shoulders and kept walking. When he made it to the second set of doors, they slid open, and suddenly, everyone was watching the battle between the older Titans and Mumbo.

Starfire was trying to break free of several layers of super strong magic scarves, Robin, or Nightwing as he was eventually going to be called, was stuck in a box about to be sawed in half, and Cyborg's parts had been flipped and switched by a vanishing cabinet until he looked like a futuristic Picasso painting. Mumbo himself was standing on several bags of cash, laughing maniacally. At the sight of him, Changeling bared his teeth, and with a roar, he transformed into the Beast. He charged at the magician, knocking him off his money before he'd even had time to draw his wand. The Sasquatch-like creature yanked him up by the lapels and slammed him hard against the side of a brick building. 

Beast Boy winced at the action and felt shame at Changeling's brutality, at his brutality. 

Mumbo weakly put up his wand, but before he could say anything, the Beast caught it between his razor-sharp teeth and bit it into three pieces. The enchantments on the other titans ended, and they quickly went to Changeling. 

“Changeling...” Cyborg said cautiously. 

The Beast looked away from his prey to Cyborg. 

“It's us.” the metal man said, “It's okay. Put the stupid magician down.”

The Beast took a deep sniff of the air and let out a growl, but he didn't do anything else. Instead, he began to shrink, until all that remained of the creature was a furious changeling in a torn uniform. 

“Where did you send me?!” he demanded, slamming Mumbo into the wall again. 

“Changeling!” Nightwing reprimanded.

“Where did you send me?!” Changeling yelled again, ignoring his leader. 

“It wasn't supposed to send you anywhere!” Mumbo cried, “It was just a spell to put you in a trance! I swear!”

“Changeling, stop this!” Starfire ordered. Cyborg and Nightwing moved like they were about to stop him. 

“I WAS WITH RAVEN!” Changeling bellowed, causing his teammates to freeze. “AND THE BABY! I could see them, touch them, I even...” He trailed off, and a tear finally fell down his face. He turned his attention back to Mumbo, yanking him off the wall, only to slam him into the street. “WHERE ARE MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER?!” 

Mumbo curled into a ball and whimpered, and Cyborg grabbed Changeling's shoulder, yanking him away from the villain while Nightwing and Starfire got him ready to hand to the police.

“You need to calm down.” he told his friend. 

Changeling just looked back at the magician, his breathing rapid. 

“Garfield.” 

The green man looked back at his friend, seeming to see him for the first time. “I was with Raven.” he said quietly. 

“I know.”

“It was real.”

“It was just a spell, man.”

“He knows where to find them.”

“Gar. They're gone,” Cyborg said, placing a hand on each of his friend's shoulders. “They're gone, and we took care of who did it, remember? It was just a spell, and Rae wouldn't want you torturing yourself like this, okay? Calm down.”

Changeling looked up and took several deep breaths before he finally appeared to calm down. Cyborg took his hands off his friend's shoulders. He gave him what he hoped was a comforting smile.

“Sounds like you've had a hell of a mission.”

Changeling closed his eyes. “You have no idea. Let's go home.”

With that, the portal to the future closed, leaving most of the occupants of both rooms slack-jawed. None of them had been prepared for that level of emotion or any of the revelations that had come with them. 

On separate sides of the country, Raven and Beast Boy, different as they usually were, were having surprisingly similar thoughts. They were getting married some day? Having a baby? Raven was dying? How? Why? Who did it? Would this change the way things were between them now? Neither one was sure how they'd look the other in the eye again. 

“Well,” Cyborg said. “That was unexpected.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Beast Boy woke slowly, feeling like even his eyelids were reluctant to move. Obviously, moving the rest of his body was not an option. He was far too comfortable in his bed. Once his eyes were open though, and his brain was functioning on a slightly higher level, he realized he felt strange. He shifted his hips, and it felt like his body did it of its own volition. He also noticed that his sheet was rubbing against some pretty private places. Was he wearing pants? He didn't think he was. He could tell that he wasn't wearing a shirt, but he never slept naked. What's going on? He wanted to lift his head, but he couldn't move. He actually consciously ordered his head to move, but he remained still. He felt himself start to panic, at least emotionally, but physically, his body didn't react like he was panicking. His breathing stayed the same. His heartbeat remained calm and slow. His own scent didn't change to reflect his fear. His body, and most of his mind actually, was perfectly calm. Still very concerned, but now very curious, he focused on what was going on in his head._

_At any given time, he felt three things_ _in his head. He called them presences, because he couldn't think of a better word. The first and usually dominant part was, well,_ him. His  _thoughts,_ his  _feelings,_ his _desires, and_ his  _memories were what ruled. It was the part of him that refused to eat meat, even though most of his animal forms didn't have a problem with it, and the part that could remember the order and title of every episode of_ Clash of the Planets  _ever made. He liked to think this part of him was in the center of his brain. Around the large,_ HIM  _part of his head, he could feel brushes of his animal forms and what they wanted or felt instinctively. It was this part that he tapped into when he morphed. This part of him became more dominant when he was an animal, but it didn't completely take over. At the back his mind was the newest presence, the one he didn't like to think about too much. It was the Beast, and in his head,_ he  _felt like a strange and... uncomfortable combination of both his and his animal forms' most basic instincts. The Beast whispered temptingly to him, not exactly in real words, but whispered either way, to surrender to his more primal instincts; to hunt and run and kill and fuck._ He _stayed at the back corners of his mind, a small presence, but there nonetheless. It was the only part of himself that could overtake HIM completely and force that part to the back of his mind, where he was aware but not in control of his actions, much like he was feeling right now._

_Wishing he could close his eyes but not even in control enough to do that, he focused on what was going on in his head. What he found surprised him. It felt completely normal, or at least it didn't feel like the Beast or any of his animal forms had taken him for a joyride. In fact, both of those parts of him felt strangely content. It even felt like the Beast was... sleeping for lack of a better word, and that only happened when he was let out, or if the team had had a really intense battle, or if he'd jacked off and come so hard that the Beast wasn't sneering about how he wanted an actual girl. All in all, everything felt pretty normal. It felt like the HIM part of his brain was still in charge, but it was blocked for some reason. Suddenly, without any prompting from Beast Boy himself, whoever was in charge spoke._

_“On a scale of one to ten, one being getting yelled at and ten being getting our asses kicked, how bad are we gonna get it once we get back to the tower?”_

Who's we?  _Beast Boy wondered._ Why are we in trouble?

He  _was surprised when he felt something move at his side, but whoever was in charge (he decided to call him Bob) wasn't. He felt someone's head lay on his shoulder beneath his collarbone, and he caught a whiff of a flowery and vaguely familiar scent before he felt a body press against his side. A naked body. A naked,_ female  _body._

BOOBS! OH MY GOD, THERE ARE BOOBS! THEY'RE  _TOUCHING_ ME! I CAN FEEL THEM!  _was_ his  _reaction, but Bob seemed calm. Content, a little smug, and mildly turned on, but calm._

_The body next to him threw its—_ her,  _Beast Boy corrected, still unable to believe he was naked in bed with a naked girl—leg over his hip, and he felt another, really soft and kind of damp, part of her pressing against his hip bone. Beast Boy stopped breathing, or would have if he was in charge, and he felt Bob's arousal go up a notch, but his body remained calm. The girl laid her hand on his chest, stroking slightly, and Beast Boy wanted to shudder at the soft touch. Though his body didn't move, both Bob and the Beast purred at the contact. He felt his arm move, and for once, he agreed completely with the motion. His hand began to stroke the_ unbelievably  _soft skin of the girl's back and side, and he couldn't help but notice very pronounced curves._

_Taking stock of the situation, Beast Boy noted that, besides having no control over his own body, this was kind of the best day ever. A soft and curvy naked girl who smelled pretty had her boobs and pussy pressed against him, which was one thing he'd wanted since learning to jack himself off when he was thirteen. He tried to move again, maybe to get a good look at the girl with him, but he stopped when the girl began to speak._

_“On a scale of one to ten...”_

Scale of one to ten?  _he wondered for a second before he remembered Bob's previous question._

_“I'd say eleven.” the girl finished. Her voice was raspy, probably from sleep, soft, and kind of low-pitched. The voice also rung a bell, but he was distracted again when Bob made him lift his head. At his side, he could see a head of purple hair lying on his shoulder—purple_ hair?  _Beast Boy thought incredulously—and skin so pale it was nearly gray pressed against his body._

No. Fucking. Way.  _Beast Boy thought. He only knew one girl with purple hair, grayish skin, and a raspy voice, and she would_ never  _sleep with him._

_Bob made him speak. “What does an eleven mean?”_

_The girl next to him gave a tiny yawn, and Bob bit back a smile. Beast Boy could feel that Bob found her adorable but knew not to say so._

_“It means,” the girl said in her increasingly (and uncomfortably) familiar voice, “that Dick will use our contingency plans on us, and he and Kori will take turns kicking our asses.”_

Dick? Kori? Who are they? And what does she mean by 'contingency plans'?  _Beast Boy wondered. However, Bob seemed to know what she was talking about, and memories that weren't his appeared to him. A guy in a black and blue suit, a guy who looked exactly how Star had described future Robin/Nightwing when she'd gone to the future, appeared in his head, and Bob identified him as “Dick.” Another memory, a pretty redhead who was obviously an older Starfire, appeared in his mind. Bob identified her as Kori._

Future Robin and Star? Dick and Kori? Are those their real names?  _Beast Boy wondered, and Bob's knowledge to the affirmative answered those questions._

_Lastly, Bob's memories answered his question about 'contingency plans.' A trick he'd learned from Batman and his experience with the Justice League, Robin/Nightwing had developed plans to take each titan, including himself, down if they ever became a problem. The plan against Beast Boy, should he be overtaken by the Beast or something else, was to use a special sedative developed by Cyborg and then incarcerate him if they wanted to temporarily incapacitate him. Contingency Plan B involved a poison that resisted the healing factor that some of his animal forms gave him. He wouldn't survive._

_The plans against Raven were nearly identical. For temporary incapacitation, there would be another version of Cyborg's special sedative that was resistant to her demonic healing followed by time in the room they'd made for her when Trigon was going to attack. If they needed to use more force, they had a strange looking knife /dagger thing that Bob knew was called Angel-glass. It would overwhelm Raven's healing ability, and it was apparently the only thing any of them knew of that could fatally wound her, short of Trigon himself._

_Beast Boy was outraged, though if it was more for himself or for Raven, he wasn't sure. Robin would_ kill  _them?! Their_ friends  _would kill them?! No, Beast Boy decided. They wouldn't. They were all friends. They'd fight for each other. Whoever was running the show in his body didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. Bob, however, seemed unconcerned about these contingency plans. Beast Boy got the feeling that he had accepted them a long time ago._

_Bob made him speak again. “Why would Kori kick our asses?”_

_The girl lifted her face to look at him, and Beast Boy's suspicions were proven correct. Her face was a bit more angular, like she'd lost the last of her baby fat, so she was obviously older, but it was definitely Raven. It was Raven's naked body pressed against him. Her_ _breasts, her_ pussy _—no, that wasn't a word that went with Raven. It was inappropriate._ Everything  _about this was inappropriate. Beast Boy wanted to start screaming, but he didn't know if it was because he was afraid she'd rip out his eyes or of it was just a reaction to the pure craziness of the situation._

_His body of course didn't obey the instruction to scream. Instead, he felt his lips quirk into a smile he didn't want to make, and from Bob, he felt a gooey, happy feeling he only remembered feeling when he still liked Terra and saw her doing something cute. Now though, it was stronger. Beast Boy, mentally of course, felt his jaw drop. Bob was in love! Whoever'd highjacked his body was in_ love!  _With Raven! And apparently using his body to get to know her on a biblical level, if their nakedness was any indication._

_Raven spoke again, answering Bob's question._

_“We left without telling anyone where we were going. We turned off our communicators, so they can't find out where we are. We've been gone since...” Raven's brow furrowed slightly, and Beast Boy felt Bob's gooey feelings intensify. “What day is it?”_

_His face scrunched up by itself. “Tuesday?” Bob had him guess. Raven shrugged one shoulder and continued to talk._

_“We've been gone at least three days,_ and _we cheated Kori out of planning a ridiculous spectacle of a wedding.”_ Wedding?!  _Beast Boy shrieked in his head, but Bob's gooey happiness just intensified again, something he didn't believe possible. “So yes, an eleven on the punishment scale, featuring Kori.” Raven finished._

_Without consulting him, Beast Boy felt his body moving again. He turned over on his side, stretching out his arm, and Raven took advantage of the position by rolling off her stomach and laying her head on his bicep, treating him to a full-frontal view of her nakedness._

Oh no, she's hot!  _Beast Boy whined, and for some stupid reason, he thought of_ Spongebob Squarepants  _and Squidward's reaction when he pictured Squilliam Fancyson in his boxers._

_However, the sight of naked Raven quickly shoved away thoughts of cartoons. She was definitely hot. Her body was slender with a toned stomach and slightly bigger breasts than he'd expected. He supposed he hadn't paid them much attention since she stayed cloaked most of the time. Her hips were also a bit wider than he'd thought, maybe because she was older, and from what he could see, her pubic hair was trimmed. He suddenly wondered what it looked like down there with her legs open, but he quickly directed himself away from that line of thinking. Beast Boy wanted to look away—Raven didn't deserve him perving over her like that, but of course he didn't move. Instead, he felt the Beast growl smugly, and suddenly, Beast Boy was assaulted with a really graphic daydream—_ or memory,  _Beast Boy practically groaned—of Bob's, detailing_ exactly  _how Raven looked between her legs (trimmed up top with completely bare folds), complete with her taste, scent, and sounds of surprisingly vocal appreciation._

_When he shook the vision of eating Raven out, he saw she had a brow raised and a small smirk on her pretty mouth—_ Regular,  _Beast Boy corrected, half-panicked,_ it's nothing special! _— like she knew exactly what he, or more accurately Bob, had been thinking about. Knowing Raven's weird ability to know exactly how someone was feeling, she probably did, and that freaked Beast Boy out even more. However, rather than hyperventilate like_ he  _wanted to do, his body once again acted on Bob's orders and moved his other arm, so that his hand was on the soft curve of Raven's hip. It moved up her waist, grazed the side of her breast, and then went back down. He watched Raven's eyes close in enjoyment. His hand completed the circuit again, and then he scooted even closer and laid his hand on her cheek. Once again, his body spoke independently of him._

_“Kori knew you didn't want a big wedding if you ever got engaged.”_

_“I think she assumed I'd change my mind once I was_ actually  _engaged.”_

_Beast Boy felt himself snort._

_“My thoughts exactly,” Raven replied. “She hasn't figured out that I don't 'do happy.'” She put emphasis on the last two words, so he knew they were in figurative quotes, and then punctuated the statement with a roll of her eyes._

_“You do happy.” Beast Boy felt himself say._

She does?  _he wondered._

_Raven raised a brow at him, obviously on to whatever bullshit Bob was spouting. Beast Boy wanted to cheer. Raven would fix this!_

_“I believe you were the first person to tell me that I didn't_ do  _happy.” she said._

_Bob made him shrug. “It took me a while to figure it out, but you do happy. It's just a low-key kind of happy, like reading a book or laying here with me.” He stroked Raven's cheek with his thumb._

That crafty bastard,  _Beast Boy thought._

“ _Not_ _starring in_ Wedding: The Musical.” _Bob finished, and Raven snorted._

_“Don't even_ joke.  _Especially when we get back to the tower. Kori might think it's a good idea.”_

_Beast Boy's body laughed for a minute, and Beast Boy himself couldn't keep back a chuckle when he noticed Raven smile slightly. She'd only smiled at him like once in the four years he'd known her. It was nice to see._

_After a few seconds, Bob stopped laughing and moved forward so his, Beast Boy's, forehead touched Raven's. “Raven?” he asked._

_Her gaze locked with his. “Yes, Gar?”_

Gar?!  _Beast Boy practically squealed._ She knew it was him?!

_“I love you.” Bob/Gar made him say._

_He saw Raven purse her mouth into a line, like she was trying to keep from smiling, and she looked away, like he'd seen some of the shy girls he'd occasionally flirt with do. Damn it. That was the most adorable thing ever._

_She looked back up at him, and he saw a softness in her eyes that he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before. The closest he could think of was when she'd comforted him after the Beast incident._

_“I love you, too.” she said softly._

_With that, Beast Boy felt his head move forward, and he tried to stop what he knew was coming. This wasn't supposed to happen! This wasn't right! Raven didn't deserve this! They_ both _deserved to do this when it felt right, with someone who felt right, or when neither one of them was under something else's control. He personally preferred to have his first kiss under_ all  _of the above conditions._

_His protests were cut off however when he felt his mouth meet Raven's, and he wasn't sure if it was him or Bob/Gar who groaned at the silken feel of Raven's lips and tongue meeting and moving with his own. It felt like he was feeling the kiss_ everywhere.  _That, or he suddenly didn't feel any other parts of his body because Raven's mouth moving so sweetly against his was the only sensation that mattered. It crossed Beast Boy's mind that this was probably the only time he could describe something as 'sensual' without feeling like a pretentious ass. There really was no other word to describe that kiss._

_When they broke apart, Beast Boy was dizzy, and he could feel Bob/Gar's gooey happiness even more intensely than before. Raven looked like she was feeling a toned down version of Bob/Gar's emotions. Her face was the most relaxed Beast Boy had ever seen it, her previous smile just a bit wider, and her eyes still closed. Her eyes opened again, and, in her contentedness, they shone like polished amethyst. She opened her mouth to speak again..._

* * *

 

Beast Boy jerked awake with a gasp, quickly sitting up. Practically hyperventilating, he looked down at himself and then around him. He wasn't naked. He was wearing a pair of boxers. He was alone in his bed. More importantly, he could move on his own. He was the one at the wheel, so to speak. He closed his eyes and focused on what was happening in his head. He felt the HIM part of himself in the center. He could call up his own memories, and when he wanted to rub his face, he could and did do it. Around the HIM part of his brain, he felt his animal forms waiting for one of them to be called when he needed them. At the very back corners of his mind, he felt the Beast lurking as usual. He felt confusion coming from the most animalistic part of himself, but that emotion he could understand. 

Still breathing kind of rapidly, but calmer now, Beast Boy turned so he was sitting on the bed with his feet on the floor. He put his head in his hands and gave his hair a tug, just to make sure he was really awake. It hurt, so he was pretty sure he was up. He worked purposefully on slowing his breathing, and when he was calmer, he put his elbows on his knees, and with his chin in his hands, he looked up at the ceiling.

This was the third dream he'd had like that in as many nights. Ever since Herald had shown them the future. The first one had been when the guys were still over. The content itself hadn't been anything special. He'd been playing videogames, and suddenly he realized his head was laying in Raven's lap. However, rather than push him off like he would have expected her to, she let him stay. She even began to stroke his hair after a while, setting off tingles that seemed to travel from his head all 

the way down back to the base of his spine. What made the dream worth remembering was that it had been like the one he'd just had. It felt like he was experiencing the event in real time, but he hadn't been in control of his own body. He'd also still felt the tingling sensation when he woke up. He absentmindedly touched his lips.

The second one happened the night after the girls came home. He'd spent the entire day trying to get Raven's attention, but she was obviously avoiding him, much to his frustration. He honestly didn't know what he'd expected Raven to do about what he'd seen in either the vision or the dream; he'd just wanted her to make him feel better. She was good at that when she wasn't insulting him, the Beast incident being a prime example. However, she'd never left her room, and he'd gone to bed disappointed. That night, he had another dream starring her. In this one, a Halloween party was going on. The titans from both teams, along with many of the honorary titans, were dressed as monsters and other characters and partying in the tower. He remembered walking by the doors to the ops center, only for them to open and reveal Raven dressed in a  _naughty nurse_ costume of all things. He'd teased her, helped her make her tea (when did he ever do that?), and then their conversation was interrupted by Starfire excitedly mauling Robin in midair over the crowd before announcing over Cyborg's microphone that she and Robin had finally started dating. It was then he learned that Raven wore the stupid costume because of a bet she made with Robin to ask out Star. It had been just like the first dream. He hadn't been in control of himself. Also, the weird thing about this dream (or at least the weirdest thing he wanted to think about right now) was that Robin and Star were already dating. 

The vision and the first dream had made him wonder if they were something to be taken seriously. The second, inaccurate one had him ready to dismiss all of them as bullshit, and then he went and had the most recent dream. Like the first two, it had felt like he wasn't in control of his body; someone else had the reins. It had also been  _ unbelievably  _ vivid. He'd never had  _ any  _ dreams like this before. He'd never had ones where he felt completely helpless, and he'd never had ones that felt like he was living in another world. It honestly felt like he was going through the motions of someone else's memories. It was disturbing, and Beast Boy really didn't think this could go on. It was getting so he was worried about going to sleep. He needed to fix it, but he didn't know how. Letting out a sigh, he climbed out of bed and started to dress. 

Once he was ready for the day, he made his way to the ops center, where he was surprised to find Cyborg in the kitchenette dressed in a complete hotdog vendor's outfit.

“WHO WANTS CORNDOGS?!” the metal man bellowed. “I'm even making some with your nasty tofu.” he practically sang.

“Really dude? Corn dogs for breakfast?” Beast Boy asked, ignoring the slight against his tofu for now.

Cyborg raised a metal brow. “It's one thirty in the afternoon, B.”

Beast Boy's forehead furrowed in confusion. That was the latest he'd slept since he was about fourteen. He shrugged slightly. New personal best, he supposed. He looked in the living room and was surprised again at the sight of Raven meditating near the window. As far as he knew, this was the first time she'd left her room since her sleepover at Titans East tower. He thought about going up to her and asking her to play therapist for what was going on in his head, or to at least give him a spell or something to keep the dreams away, but he decided against it. He'd probably send her back to her room again, so it was probably better if he waited for...something. He walked into the living room and flopped on the couch before picking up the remote and turning on the TV. He idly flipped through the channels, but he didn't find anything that caught his attention for long. He settled on that  _ Supernatural  _ show that was somewhere in the middle of its second season, but he didn't get too stuck on it. Instead, he looked around the room, first at Cyborg, who was humming slightly as he deep-fried pieces of whatever animal was in corn dogs, and then at Raven, who was hovering cross-legged in the corner where the bay windows met the wall. 

Light surrounded her; light directly from the sun and light from the sun's sparkling reflection on the bay streamed through the window and seemed to wash over her. It made her skin look healthier, more white now than ashen gray, and it made her hair gleam like, well, amethysts. He idly thought about what other things were purple and shiny and then wondered why he cared. It wasn't like he was planning to start spouting poetry or anything. Nope. He continued to look at her and at how the light highlighted and softened the features of her face. For once, she didn't look like she was annoyed.

_ Probably because I'm not talking to her,  _ Beast Boy joked with himself. Realizing that he'd spent quite a bit of time staring at her, he turned his attention back to  _ Supernatural,  _ but after a few minutes, he got bored and started looking around again. This time, he didn't even bother focusing on Cyborg. He just looked at Raven again. She was still in the corner, still bathed in light like a freaking angel. 

_ She's beautiful, _ Beast Boy thought, and he mentally slapped himself. This was Raven! He wasn't supposed to be thinking this way about Raven! He was still loopy from the dream he had. Cuddly, out-of-character— _ and naked,  _ he thought before scolding himself—Raven was stuck in his head. He knew  _ this  _ Raven however, would fling him into the bay for perving on her the way he was now, and that was how it should be. He turned his attention back to the television. 

He watched the Winchester boys' daddy issues for a few seconds and then snuck another peek at Raven. At first glance, she looked peaceful, but the longer he looked, the more he noticed something was a bit off. Her brow was furrowed a little, like she was confused or looking for something and couldn't find it, and her mouth was set in either annoyance or determination. He wondered what was bothering her, and the first thing that popped into his head was Herald's vision. 

He'd forgotten about it by the time the vision was over, but when he tried to talk to Raven about what he'd seen, she told him that the girls had patched into the Titans network to see what they were doing. She knew what he was talking about, and she coolly told him that there was no point in worrying about it before closing her door in his face. However, despite her claims that it was pointless to worry about the future Herald had shown them, Beast Boy thought it had to bother her.

She'd spent years with a prophecy hanging over her head, talking about her death and what it would bring. Then she found her way around it and beat her dad in the most awesome display of power Beast Boy had ever seen. She'd looked like an angel then as well, he remembered, but more like an avenging angel than the light washed one floating in the living room. Shaking his head to clear those kinds of thoughts, he continued his original train of thought. She deserved some peace, in his opinion, after what she'd done for everyone, or as much as she could get in their line of work. Instead, she was getting  _ another  _ prophecy, or something kind of like it, predicting her death. And a baby's. As much as Raven liked to act like nothing affected her, he knew the thought of a dead child had to be tearing her up inside. 

It bothered him too when he really thought about it. He was only seventeen. The thought of having a baby should, and kind of did, terrify him. He was  _ way _ too young for that kind of thing. However, in between worrying about his friend dying and possibly developing a crush on said friend, because of these stupid dreams, he thought about the baby. “My Little Angel,” his older self had called her. Angela Marie Logan. Marie had been his mother's name. Had older Raven known that? Had Angela been  _ her  _ mother's name?

That question got him to wondering a bit about Raven's family, realizing that all he'd ever really thought about it was that her father was the multidimensional demon Trigon, and her mother had been... just some human woman. He'd almost felt ashamed that he'd never thought more about this before. Raven's mother was a person who'd had a life and probably a family before her life was turned upside down by Trigon. Was she even alive? He doubted it, considering who baby-daddy was, but he also knew anything was possible. Had she been named Angela? he wondered again. Had she been the source of Little Angel's curls? 

Even though he'd only seen the baby for a minute, her image was burned into his brain. In spite of the green coloring she'd gotten from him, she still managed to look almost  _ exactly  _ like Raven, complete with her pointy chin and small nose, her unbalanced mouth with its thin lower lip and thick upper lip, and her large, surprisingly intense eyes. She'd been beautiful, probably the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Little Angel had been gorgeous and happy and  _ his.  _ His daughter, something he'd never imagined he'd have, was proof that he could have a family of his own, and yet he was going to lose her. The thought of something so small and bright and innocent being snuffed out made his stomach roll. The thought of losing her and Raven both terrified and infuriated him. He didn't want either of them hurt, even one of them didn't exist yet.  _ And might not ever,  _ a voice in his head that sounded weirdly like Raven pointed out.  _ It was just a vision. It might not come true.  _

Just like that, his fear and anger cooled.  _ This  _ kind of thing was why he was having problems. He would think about the future he'd seen and get worked up only to realize it wasn't happening, and there was nothing he could do about it at this point. Then another part of him would rear up and ask 'but what if I could?' Usually, this happened after he had one of his vivid dreams, and then the vicious cycle would start all over again. Why was this all so complicated? He let out his breath in a long exhale. Maybe he should just tell Raven he knew what she looked like naked, and she'd put him out of his misery.

“Beast Boy.” Raven's voice had taken that growling quality that Beast Boy  _ knew  _ meant she was pissed. 

_ NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! _ , Beast Boy panicked. Had she somehow known what he was thinking?!

“Stop staring at me.” Raven ordered. Beast Boy sighed in relief before answering her.

“What? I'm not staring.” He let out a half-hearted laugh. She was meditating with her eyes shut. How had she known he was looking at her?

“Yes. You were.”

“How do you even know that if you've had your eyes shut the whole time?” Beast Boy challenged.

“I know everything.” Raven deadpanned. Still, she didn't open her eyes. “Stop staring.”

“I wasn't staring!”

“Then is there suddenly a poster advertising the latest stupid videogame on the wall behind me? That's the only thing I'm aware of that would draw your attention back here.”

Beast Boy scrambled to come up with something else he could have been looking at, but Raven had picked a particularly boring spot to meditate. The wall behind her was completely bare, as gray and dull as he'd once thought Raven herself to be. The floor and ceiling were also boring. There was the same red carpet that had been there for the last four years and the same gray metal ceiling. There was the window...

“I was just looking out the window!” he said quickly, proud of himself for coming up with something. He added to his excuse. “It looks really nice outside. The sun is making the bay look really shiny. The view is great.”

“You haven't been interested in the view since we moved in. There is also an entire wall of windows focused on the city and bay. You have no reason to look out the window at the  _ exact  _ spot where I happen to be meditating. Try again.”

“Uh...” Beast Boy tried to think of something, but Raven opened her eyes and held up a hand to stop him.

“Never mind. Just quit staring at me.”

“'Kay.” he muttered, sinking into the couch again. He stubbornly refused to let himself look at Raven. He focused his attention on the TV again and actually found himself interested in the goings on of the Winchester brothers. It was better than looking at Raven. Or thinking about her. Or about the stupid vision.

He mentally slapped himself and looked back at the TV, determined to be interested in what was happening on that.

**~O~**

“Corn dogs are done!” Cyborg exclaimed cheerfully. Wearing an exaggerated hotdog vendor's uniform, complete with an insulated metal box to keep the corn dogs hot, he bounded into the living room where Beast Boy was vegging out in front of the TV and Raven continued to meditate. He went to BB first, giving him a nudge. 

“I even made some with your tofu.” He opened his vendor's box and pulled out a corn dog he thought might have had tofu in it. Or plastic. It really was hard to tell the difference. Either way, he offered it to Beast Boy.

His green friend didn't even look at him. Instead, his eyes remained glued to the TV, though Cyborg was sure he wasn't even focusing on what was happening on the screen. He knew Beast Boy didn't even like  _ Supernatural.  _ The bionic man swallowed his concerned sigh and turned his attention to Raven. 

“Raven...” he crooned. “You  _ love  _ corn dogs, doncha?”

“No.” she replied flatly. She didn't open her eyes. Cyborg opened his mouth to do some more coaxing, but just then he caught a glimpse of the ops center doors opening. At the sight of red hair in his peripheral vision, he quickly made his way to the doors, standing between Starfire and the other titans.

“Hey, Star!” He shoved the box of corn dogs at her. “Want a corn dog? I got every kind you can think of, with hotdogs, brats, liverwurst, link sausage, cornmeal, pancake batter, beer batter... basically everything, and they are all delicious. Plus,” He waggled his metal eyebrows at her. “I got all the mustard you could possibly want to eat with them right in the kitchen!”

The pretty alien's face lit up at the mention of her favorite beverage. “Oh friend, that sounds most delightful! But please, would it be possible for the 'corn dog' to be made with pickles?”

Cyborg frowned thoughtfully. Honestly, the thought of making a corn dog with a pickle wasn't pleasing to his own palate, but he'd already made corn dogs with  _ tofu _ , of all things, so if Star wanted pickles...

“Alright,” he shrugged. “It's about time I found a reason to deep-fry a pickle anyway.”

“Glorious!” Starfire exclaimed, and Cyborg grinned. There was nothing better than a happy Starfire, in his opinion.

“Come on, girl!” He picked Starfire up and tossed her over his shoulder, causing her to erupt into a fit of shrieking giggles. He made it a few steps toward the kitchen, and then his cybernetic ear picked up the hitch in Star's breath.

_ Oh no,  _ he thought. He turned his head to look at her and saw that her lower lip was already poking out. He followed her gaze into the living room and saw she was looking back and forth between Beast Boy and Raven. Her breath hitched again.

_ Damn it all to hell,  _ he swore and put Starfire down in front of him. He moved subtly so her view of their friends was obstructed by his body. Why hadn't he moved into the kitchen faster so she hadn't seen them at all?

“Come on, Star!” His tone was still cheery. “Pickle corn dogs..”

Starfire let out another sob, and tears began to pool her in large green eyes.

“No! No, please don't do that!” Cyborg begged, finally letting a little bit of his panic show.  _ Damn, damn, damn! _

It was then Beast Boy decided to come out of whatever stupor he'd been in.  _ Great timing, Grass Stain. _

“What's going on?” Beast Boy asked.

“Nothing! Just...” Cyborg was grasping at straws. “She's overjoyed at the prospect of corn dogs! Like you should be since I put all that time and effort into making tofu ones for you, which, by the way, is just  _ wrong  _ in a corn dog.”

“She doesn't  _ look  _ happy,” Beast Boy stood up, looking concerned. “Star, you okay?”

Starfire just sniffled, and tears began to fall.

Just then, the ops center doors opened, and Robin came in, obviously fresh from his afternoon workout. With a whine, Starfire flew to him and hugged him tight, burying her face in his shoulder. With a concerned look, Robin wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and gave her a squeeze before looking at the other titans. Cyborg gave a minute shrug, which instantly told Robin what had happened. Beast Boy appeared both concerned and confused, and when he made eye contact with Raven, she immediately disappeared in a flash of dark energy.

“I'll go talk to her.” Beast Boy said immediately.

“Hold it.” Robin ordered as the changeling tried to squeeze past him and Star.

“Why?” Beast Boy asked. “She's obviously having a problem.”

Brows furrowed in annoyance, Robin looked pointedly at the sobbing alien wrapped around him.

“Well, you got that covered.” Beast Boy replied without missing a beat.

“Tell Raven there's going to be a team meeting. Now.”

Even though Cyborg could tell Beast Boy was clearly annoyed, the changeling nodded and left the room, leaving Robin to care for the distressed Starfire. He gave her another squeeze and whispered comforting, nonsensical words to her. Robin looked at Cyborg again. He was at a loss for what to do. After a few seconds of awkward silence, punctuated only by Starfire's quiet sniffles, Cyborg finally spoke again.

“You know what? Corn dogs were a bad idea. I'm feeling night breakfast. Who wants a waffle bar?”

With that, he made his way back to the kitchen, ignoring Robin's eye roll.

**~O~**

In her room, Raven tried to meditate, and once again, she was failing. She hadn't been able to center herself since before that stupid sleepover three days ago. Her emotions were just too jumbled, and it didn't help that she could feel everyone else in the tower having a similar problem. Robin actually wasn't that bad. Brooding was how he reacted to everything, but between Cyborg's overcompensating and Starfire's crying fits, it was a wonder she hadn't sent them all to another dimension, accidentally or otherwise. And then there was Beast Boy. She didn't even want to know what he was feeling about all this, so she'd done her best to avoid him the past few days, and whenever she did have to be around him, she put up as many shields against his emotions as she could. However, some impressions still managed to get through. He was worried, and it annoyed her that he kept trying to  _ talk  _ to her about it. What could she do?

_Provide him with closure?_ Knowledge suggested.

 _There is literally nothing that can be done,_ Raven answered stubbornly.

_You want to help him though._

_We love him! We love him! We love him!_ Happy suddenly chanted, her voice high and reminiscent of a yipping puppy. Raven could just picture the annoying emotion flying loops over her mindscape, and she growled softly at the thought.

 _Of course we love him,_ Raven snarled at the emotion. _He's a very good friend._

 _We just gonna ignore your little crush?_ Brave asked mockingly, and Raven opened her eyes only to narrow them in a glare.

 _No,_ she thought, closing her eyes again. _We're not._

She'd admitted it during that sleepover, during a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. She did in fact have a bit of a crush on Beast Boy.

Brave snorted. _A bit._

 _A bit._ Raven insisted. She did have a bit of a crush on Beast Boy. He was handsome, especially now that he'd gotten older. He'd gained muscle tone, and he'd finally managed to grow taller than her. Not much taller than her, but taller nonetheless. She also knew he was brave, confident, and strong. He'd earned a lot of respect from her when he'd managed to lead a team of his own in the final confrontation against the Brotherhood of Evil, especially since none of them had been able to make contact with him; for all he knew, all his teammates were dead, and still he kept on fighting. That took courage. Though she often made dry suggestions to the contrary, she also knew he was intelligent, just in a creative or innovative kind of way, rather than academic. She also admired how he never gave up on people who mattered to him, not even when the person he wasn't giving up on thought he should. Though it annoyed her— _often—_ she appreciated the way he always tried to get her to be involved with the team. She doubted she'd be as close to her friends as she was, had it not been for Beast Boy. Even when she'd wanted to give up on herself, he refused to let her go and even tried to be optimistic. That was what attracted Raven to him the most.

However, her “crush” did not leave her blind to his flaws or hers, and she knew a relationship between them would never work. His jokes made her want to throw him out a window, his leadership instincts only kicked in during the direst of straits, his idea of a good time was a brain-rotting marathon of stupid television reruns or spending the day in a packed arcade, and he was constantly trying to “convert” people to vegetarianism. On her end, while she enjoyed her frequent meditation, exhaustive reading habits, and shut-in nature, she knew Beast Boy would get bored very quickly. She could also admit to being short-tempered, impatient, stubborn, blunt, and uncompromising when it came to her own affairs. She was also too emotionally reserved for someone like Beast Boy. He was as emotionally loud and vivid as eighties pop art, and he needed someone with a similar temperament. She knew she was a passionless person.

 _Are you?_ a voice in her head teased. _Are you really?_

Suddenly, the image of the kiss her older self had shared with “Changeling” flashed through her mind, causing her eyes to pop open again. The...voraciousness she'd exhibited had shocked her. However...

“I was dead,” she said out loud. “Keeping my emotions in check was no longer an issue.”

 _It's alright to be curious, you know,_ Knowledge said reassuringly. _You're a human female with hormones and sexual desire just like anyone else._

 _I'm_ not _curious._

 _I am the_ source _of curiosity. Yes you are._

 _He is ours._ Rage finally spoke on behalf of her more base instincts. _The future shows it._

 _The future also showed Trigon destroying us,_ Raven shot back. _Prophecies like that mean nothing._

 _Desire does though,_ the usually tacit Love piped up. _Why not enjoy it, Raven?_

_You know why._

_I also know you have far more control when you let me out._

_That was because of spells. Dark spells that I_ won't _be using again._

 _Control and ability affect spells, not the other way around,_ Knowledge broke in. _You believed yourself in love with Malchior, and you had more control of yourself as a result._

 _Where is the logic in that?_ Raven wondered. _Love_ creates _other, messier, emotions. It's dangerous._

_Love overpowers Rage. Something to that effect is a theme in many of the books in your memory._

_'Don't believe everything you read' is also a commonly quoted platitude._

_Then believe results._ Love spoke again, an unusual, steely quality present in her usually dreamy tone. _When you loved Malchior—_

 _I did_ not _love him._

 _When you_ thought _you loved him, you were as controlled as you've ever been._

 _Enough!_ Raven finally demanded. _My acting on my feelings for Beast Boy isn't the issue right now. The issue is that stupid vision and how it's making everyone in the tower act like idiots._

Timid whimpered. _It was so sad though. That poor baby._

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. That was probably the worst part of the vision. Her own death hadn't bothered her too much, other than it clearly distressing her friends...

 _And your hubby,_ Happy added, trying to lighten up the situation.

Raven growled again, and she shut up.

Her own death hadn't bothered her, but she was disgusted with herself for taking a child with her. Rationally, she knew her feelings were ridiculous. It was unlikely her future self would have done something dangerous knowing she was pregnant, but she couldn't help but blame herself. She'd had a child. As terrifying as the prospect was, she'd had a child of her own, and she'd lost her. Obviously, it would have been her fault. If she could dream, she was certain she'd be having nightmares about losing that baby.

Just the thought of the child gave her feelings of regret, sadness, and disgust in herself. She also felt wonder at the thought of having a child when it was supposed to be impossible, and of course, it made her think of Beast Boy. She hadn't gotten a long look at the baby, but she was sure her image had been seared into her mind forever. She was so much like her teammate, in more than just coloring. She had Beast Boy's spirit. It gleamed in her large eyes and made itself obvious in her wide smile and frequent laugh. The little girl had literally bounced with happiness. She'd never thought about children of her own, having always believed she'd be dead by sixteen and had incompatible DNA, besides. She was honestly glad that this one was a happy child. As disconcerting as it was to have a child so different from herself, she was happy she apparently didn't have to bear the same burden she'd had to as a child.

 _You do realize the child doesn't exist yet right? That she might not_ ever _exist?_

Raven opened her eyes and sighed. And there was the crux of the problem. For _everyone._ They were all getting worked up over something that might not ever happen, and yet it had seemed so real, it was impossible to react any other way. Whenever she tried to ignore it, she'd see a green baby in the mirror out of the corner of her eye or the kiss “Changeling” had given her older self when she closed her eyes.

 _Once again, it's okay to be curious. You get aroused just like everyone else._ Knowledge tentatively spoke up. Before Raven could reply, her thoughts were interrupted by a very familiar voice.

“Come on, Rae. I know you're in there.” Beast Boy was saying as he pounded on her door. It seemed like he'd been at it a while, and she'd been too preoccupied to hear him or even pick up his emotions. Once again, she could feel his familiar combination of trepidation and determination. He wanted to _talk_ to her.

Annoyed, Raven climbed out of bed and stalked the length of the room to her door. Wishing she had a hinged door she could fling open dramatically, she pressed the button to slide open the door.

“What?” she demanded when the door was completely open.

Beast Boy stood before her, fist still in the air and a semi-terrified expression on his face. His reply was eloquent.

“Uh...”

Raven narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to say something scathing, but she stopped when Beast Boy's nostrils suddenly flared, and his eyes flashed. Just like that, his posture changed, and he stood straighter, muscles tense. His breathing also sped up slightly. He took an especially deep breath through his nose and let it out in a low groan.

Raven stepped back a little, concerned about this unusual reaction. “Are you alright, Beast Boy?”

He shook his head and cleared his throat with a loud cough. “Yeah. I'm fine. Uh, Robin says there's team meeting.”

“Perfect.” Raven grumbled. She stepped out of her room and shut the door before beginning to make her way to the ops center. To her annoyance, even though she admitted it was unwarranted, Beast Boy followed.

“Raven?” he asked.

She pretended not to hear him.

“Raven?” he repeated.

“What?” she huffed.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asked.

Raven stopped, puzzled. That wasn't been what she'd expected at all. Beast Boy stopped at her side and looked at her, his expression concerned.

“Rae?”

“I'm fine,” she said more quickly than she meant to. “Don't call me Rae.”

At this, Beast Boy grinned, resulting in sighs and giggles from Love and Happy's respective domains. “That sounds like the _Raven_ I know. You seemed kinda... I don't know, _off_ the last few days.”

“I'm fine.” Raven repeated in a gentler tone. She started walking again. She was mildly touched at his concern. She thought he'd only wanted to assuage _his_ worries.

Beast Boy kept pace with her. “Can we talk? Please?”

 _There_ it was. She looked at him, feeling momentary surprise at how tall he was up close. “I told you before there's nothing to talk about, Beast Boy. There's no way of knowing if the vision Herald showed us is coming true.”

“I'm still kind of worried, and I don't think I can talk about this with the others.”

Raven raised an eyebrow at him. “What about Cyborg? Isn't he your BFF or whatever the male equivalent is?”

Beast Boy let out an amused huff at her unusual use of slang. “Yeah, we're buds, but every time I bring it up, he tries to distract me with videogames or force feed me corn dogs.”

“You tortured soul.”

Beast Boy chuckled again, and Raven _almost_ smiled. Instead, she rolled her eyes.

“What about Robin or Starfire?”

“Robin'll interrogate me, and Starfire? Really?”

“Fair enough,” Raven admitted, thinking of Starfire's recent crying jags. “Why me though? I'm not good at this sort of thing.”

“Wrong!” Beast Boy exclaimed, _almost_ making her jump. He nudged her with his shoulder and ignored her scowl. “You're great at playing therapist as long as you're not trying to tear my self-esteem to shreds.”

Raven frowned slightly. Was that really what he thought of her?

“I do _not_ try to tear your self-esteem to shreds. You just act like an idiot sometimes.”

 _That'll show 'im, Rae-Rae._ Rude mocked her. _Teach him to say you're bad for his self-esteem._

Beast Boy took it in stride though. “Only sometimes?” he teased. “Careful, Raven. People might start to think you like me.”

Ignoring the suspicion that he just might be flirting with her, Raven narrowed her eyes at him. “Don't push it.”

“Were we having a moment?” He was trying to look solemn, but the mischievous glint in his eye gave him away.

Raven rolled her eyes again. “Not anymore.”

Just then, they made it to the ops center doors. Without another word to Beast Boy, Raven opened them and went inside. She took her usual place on the couch between Starfire and the armrest.

At the sight of her, the alien wilted slightly, like she was about to cry again.

Raven help up a hand. “Don't start.”

At this, Starfire gave her a watery smile and nodded.

**~O~**

Even though they hadn't _exactly_ talked about what was bothering him, Beast Boy felt better after his conversation with Raven. It seemed like things were almost normal between them again. He'd even been able to tease her a little without her disappearing on him. By the time they'd gotten to the ops center, he'd felt better than he had in days.

He was slightly disappointed with the spot Raven had picked on the couch, but he didn't dwell on it too long; he was in far too good a mood to think of weird dream feelings. Instead, he took his usual place on the other side of the couch and waited for Robin to say what he wanted to say. Their leader was standing in front of the television, seemingly waiting for something and not looking happy about it. Just when Beast Boy was about to ask what the hold up was, his question was answered when Cyborg came out of the kitchen pushing what looked like a wheeled, tricked-out version of his corn dog vending box. However, instead of corn dogs, he appeared to be hauling... waffles? One plate, piled high with waffles covered in blueberry preserves and whipped cream sat on top of the cart.

The metal man stopped his cart at the edge of the couch on Raven's side. “I got waffles, ya'll!” he called cheerfully before his face suddenly took on an expression that was almost feral. “And you're gonna eat 'em.”

Beast Boy swallowed hard. _Okay,_ he thought. _Waffle time._

Raven and Starfire didn't seem as intimidated as he felt though. In fact, when Cyborg put the first plate of waffles in Raven's hands, she actually opened her mouth to protest.

“I haven't seen you eat since before that damn slumber party,” Cyborg spoke before she could. “Eat the waffles or I'm declaring you unfit for missions.”

 _Damn,_ Beast Boy thought. _Cy means business._

“You can't do that!” Raven snapped.

“Team medic's prerogative,” Cyborg replied smugly. “Here's a fork.”

She sullenly took the fork and dug into the waffles.

Cyborg moved his cart in front of Starfire. “Peppermint and salami waffles topped in mustard for my favorite alien.”

Starfire opened her mouth as well, and Cyborg simply shoved a forkful of her customized waffles into it. She narrowed her eyes at him but took the plate and continued to eat. Cyborg stopped his cart in front of Beast Boy and removed a third plate of waffles from it. Beast Boy took the plate and a fork without protest.

“Vegan bullshit topped with hippie tears for you.” Cyborg announced. Beast Boy couldn't resist.

“Hippie tears are a product of an animal's suffering.” he replied with a straight face.

Cyborg slapped him in the back of the head.

“Ow!”

“Everyone fed now?” Robin asked, clearly exasperated.

“Not quite.” Cyborg took a fourth plate of waffles from the cart and put it on the coffee table in front of Robin. “Sugar-free, fat-free, gluten-free, lactose-free, protein-boosted chocolate chip waffles with enriched syrup. May God have mercy on your soul for making me make these.”

“I didn't _make_ you do any—”

“ _Eat_ 'em _,_ ” Cy ordered stubbornly. He parked the cart on the other side of the couch and took a fifth plate out of it, piled higher than all the others combined. “Or I'll declare _you_ unfit for duty.”

“I'm the leader, Cyborg.” Robin said warningly.

Mouths stuffed with waffles, the other three titans looked back and forth between the two alpha males, wondering what was going to happen next.

“As team medic and second-in-command, I can take you off duty for health reasons if a majority of the team agrees with me. All in favor of taking Robin off missions if he doesn't eat his Franken-Waffles?”

Raven's hand shot up first, her eyes narrowed in glare at Robin. Beast Boy thought that look was clearly saying: _if I have to do this, I'm taking you down with me._

Encouraged by Raven's quick reaction, he raised his hand as well.

Looking a little less depressed now, Starfire also raised her hand.

“There you have it.” Cy said. He carefully sat down on the couch and then started eating his own waffles.

Giving his teammates a glare Beast Boy called 'The Dark Knight Special,' Robin picked up his plate of waffles with one hand and pulled the coffee table away from the couch with the other. Once that was done, he walked around the table and sat down on it across from the rest of the Titans. After taking a bite of his waffles, he looked to be in a slightly better mood. He spoke after his second bite.

“Alright, Titans. Let's get started.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“There'll be a security booth near the gate and cameras located around the perimeter,” Richard was saying. “Do you think we should get dogs? I like dogs, but I think they might be a bit much.”

Kori simply hummed, hoping Dick would make of it what he would. He did.

“Two dogs for the house then. They'll be trained as guard dogs, but they'll look like pets.”

He was talking about the move again. He was so excited, repeatedly going over every detail of their plans for when they finally relocated to Bludhaven. To the world, Richard would be Dick Grayson, come to Bludhaven to launch a branch of Wayne Corp. She would be Kori Anders-Grayson, his supermodel philanthropist wife. The two of them, and of course Bruce Wayne, were being hailed as heroes by the press for launching a branch of one of the most successful companies in the Western Hemisphere in a place as poverty-stricken as Bludhaven. The men would bring jobs with their company. Kori would bring poverty relief with her charities. She was also playing with the idea of possibly starting either her own modeling agency or clothing line to be based in Bludhaven. That would create even more jobs.

She truly was looking forward to going to Bludhaven. Though she had only been there once, and many others in her acquaintance found its squalor disconcerting, she honestly found the city quite beautiful. Its stark appearance reminded her a bit of Tamaran, and she was looking forward to helping people, both as Kori Anders-Grayson and Starfire. She also looked forward to the challenge a place like Bludhaven presented, relished it even, and her inner warrior appreciated how Dick included her in the plans for fortifying their soon-to-be home. The fact that Earth men often excluded women from this kind of planning still baffled her, even after several years on the planet.

However, she was not really paying attention to her husband's planning at the moment. Instead, now that the move was so close, she was thinking of how much she and her friends had changed since their first meeting so many years ago. Back then, Dick had just been Robin: an angry, militaristic boy with so much to prove to the world. She had been Starfire: an insecure alien constantly on the edge of being overwhelmed by a world she was sometimes certain wanted nothing to do with her. Victor had been Cyborg: a damaged boy who always felt like he was straddling the line between humanity and monstrosity. Raven's problem had been nearly identical, though her reaction to it was very different from Victor's. She hid herself from the world, and it had been months before any of them had gotten any idea of what she was truly like. Garfield had been Beast Boy: a child; there truly was no other way to describe him.

Now, everything was different. Robin was now Dick, or Nightwing to the rest of the world. He was her husband and her everything. It had taken years, but he had finally opened up to her. He'd let her in, told her his name, and then eventually asked her to take it as her own. There was very little evidence of the angry boy she'd met. Now, he was loving and warm and so proud of his plans to make a difference in the world. He was a brilliant warrior and hero, and he no longer felt like he had to prove it every single day.

She herself had changed as well. Looking back, she realized her friends had protected her from many things when she was young, assuring her that it was perfectly alright that she spoke in a strange accent and didn't understand colloquialisms or the proper way to combine foods. Referring to her worth as a person, they were right; there was nothing wrong with enjoying a good mustard-frosted cake once in a while. As a hero however, those things did matter. Her naivete and inability to blend in had initially made questioning possible suspects hard, and it had made undercover operations impossible. She also felt it really was important to understand the customs of the world she was meant to protect. To improve herself, she had made Dick put her on numerous undercover and plainclothes missions until she learned. She was no longer as naïve as she was, and she thought she was much more effective as a hero.

“Razor wire would be more of a deterrent, but it might also send a message to the people that we don't trust them. That's not a good message to send when we're supposed to be offering them jobs and 'a better deal,' so to speak. What do you think?”

“Shards of glass.” she said absentmindedly. Dick had already mentioned such a thing when he was planning the security measures around the house, so she didn't have to go into much detail about it.

“...embedded in the cement on top of the wall. It would deter actual criminals while being subtle enough to not broadcast a belief that we think everyone there is a criminal. Brilliant, Kori.”

“Hmm...”

Cyborg was now Victor to her, though his codename remained unchanged. Overall, he was probably the one who had changed least. He was a bit larger, with more impressive armor and better technology, but for the most part, he was still the fun-loving, “larger than life” man who thought himself everyone's older brother. He still had his occasional dark moods, where he wondered if he could be counted among the monsters, but those instances were becoming fewer and further in between, especially since his invitation to join the Justice League.

Kori smiled at the memory. Once Victor had finished screaming like an overexcited _bumgorf—_ off-screen, of course, so Superman didn't see him—he accepted, and he would move to Seattle as soon she and Richard moved to Bludhaven. In addition to fighting crime on the city's streets, he would have a position similar to that of Oracle in Gotham. Between the two of them brokering information, Kori was sure they would be the only people left in the country with secrets. She suspected one such secret was that Victor and Barbara were much closer than they appeared. They presented a challenge to one another intellectually, they both understood the alternating doubting and determined moments that came with being “disabled” superheroes, and she was sure Victor found Barbara's feisty nature most attractive. Kori smiled again. She didn't know Babs as well as Victor, but she adored them both and wished them the best if her suspicions proved correct.

The happiness that would come with new love and relationships would be wonderful for their little family, especially after all they had lost. She sighed at the thought of Raven. A part of her had died with her dear friend, her sister. She was certain Changeling, also known as Gar to her, had died with her as well. His body was still here; he still spoke in Garfield's voice, but the light in his eyes that had made him almost indistinguishable from the cheerful young boy she knew had been gone for a long time. She thought she had seen glimpses of it in recent months, like when he pulled a prank on them during her and Richard's anniversary party three months ago, but now she was not so sure. In the three days it had been since their fight with Mumbo, Changeling had been acting very strangely. She was worried for him.

“Kori!”

Kori jumped. “Oh! Yes, Dick?”

“Everything okay?”

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

“You seem kinda...distracted. Normally, you're more involved in this kind of planning.”

“I am sorry. I was just thinking.”

“What about?” Richard asked, rolling up the schematic for their soon-to-be home.

Kori sighed and reached across the table to grasp her husband's hand. She squeezed it before looking up at him. “I know you are excited about the relocation. I am as well, but do you think it would be possible to postpone it? Just a  _little_ longer?” she pleaded when her husband's expression changed to one of exasperation. 

“Kori, we've been putting off this move for over three years,” he said, looking at her a bit reproachfully.

“I know, but we had very good reasons for it.”

“I'm not arguing with you there, but I don't see what would be keeping us from moving now. We've outgrown the Teen Titans, Kori. We all need to go our own ways.”

Kori sighed. Dick was about to launch into his speech about how they had grown up, that Jump City no longer needed them, and they all needed to go their own ways if they wanted to be taken seriously as heroes. She could admit that she agreed with him; she had actually been wanting a more private dwelling since she and Richard married, but now was not the time for her husband's “team leader” rhetoric.

“Richard, I am worried about Garfield.” she said quickly.

Dick stopped mid-speech. “Gar? Why?”

“I just worry that...” She paused, trying to think of the best way to say it. “I worry that he might feel we are abandoning him.”

“We're not abandoning him, Kori. We talked about this when started planning the move. We may not all be living together anymore, but that doesn't mean our friendship's over or that we won't help our friends if they need it.” he said reassuringly.

“Raven was still alive when we discussed this!”

Dick looked confused, so Kori explained.

“ _We_ are moving to Bludhaven. Victor is going to Seattle to work for the Justice League. Garfield  _was_ going to host a nature show after he and Raven went into semi-retirement to raise the baby. Our plans and Cyborg's plans have not changed, but a crucial part of Garfield's plans have. I worry that when we leave him, he will feel that he has no purpose.” The thought of her dear friend spending his life alone and directionless broke her heart. Dick sighed and took her other hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“We talked about this with Garfield at our anniversary party, remember? He said he was alright. He'd be fine if we went ahead with the move.”

“Someone can say they are alright, but that does not mean they are!” Kori exclaimed, her voice rising. She tugged her hands from Richard's. “Garfield knows how much you want to move. He might have been lying, so he did not keep us back!”

“So, it's about how much  _I_ want to move now?” Richard demanded, standing. “You wanted to go too! You couldn't stop talking about it when I first brought it up! Going on and  _on_ about how we'll finally have a place of our own and how much good you can do with your charities!”

“I know!” Kori snapped, standing as well. “And I still wish to go, but not if it is at the expense of one of our friends! Garfield needs us!”

“It's been almost eighteen months! I loved Raven too! Next to you, she was probably the most important woman in my life, but I can't,  _we_ can't, put our lives on hold because she's gone. She wouldn't want us to do that, and you know it! We need to move on!”

“Raven would also want us to help our friends! We are a family, and Garfield needs us!”

“I don't think  _Gar_ is the problem here, Kori.” Richard said derisively. 

“And just  _what_ is that supposed to mean?!” Kori shrilled. 

“It  _means,_ ” he drawled, getting up in her face. “That  _you're_ the one who doesn't want to move, and instead of telling me, you're using Gar as a crutch!” 

Kori gasped. “I would never do such a thing! I know how important this is to you, to us, but—”

“But what then? And don't bring Gar into this!”

“Why do  _you_ refuse to believe that he is still mourning his  _notha lek bumgorf!?_ ” she demanded, slipping into Tamaranean.

“I have no doubt he's still mourning them!” Richard yelled, also in Tamaranean but with a heavy accent. “I'm sure he'll mourn them the rest of his life, but he's been getting better for months now, Starfire! He gets up at a reasonable time. He eats regularly and socializes again. He even pulled those stupid pranks at our anniversary party! The only reason I didn't kill him for embarrassing me like that is because  _that_ proved it for me!” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little. “If he's okay enough to put  _Bruce Wayne_ in a tutu or tell us he's okay with us moving, he's okay with us moving!” he finished in English.

“Three months ago, I would have agreed with you, Richard. I would have agreed with you one  _week_ ago, but ever since the battle with Mumbo, I am not so sure.” Kori stopped, ready to cry at the memory. She had not seen so much pain and rage in Garfield's eyes since Raven's death. It made her heart ache for him. 

At the sight of Kori's obvious distress, Dick sighed and dropped his hands from Kori's shoulders. “You really are worried about Gar, aren't you?”

“That is what I have been trying to say!” Kori snapped, exasperated. “In between your accusations that I wish to ruin your career!”

“I never said that, and you know it.” Dick said patiently.

Kori huffed and looked away from him.

“Kori?” Dick asked. She didn't move. “Kori, look at me.”

After a moment, she did, her lower lip poked out in a sulky pout. “I find it hurtful that would accuse me of being cowardly enough to jeopardize our future without giving you an acceptable reason why.”

“I know, and I'm sorry,” he said, leaning forward so his forehead touched Kori's. “It's just this is the kind of thing I've been waiting to do my entire life. I don't regret my time with Batman, and I  _definitely_ don't regret my time as a Titan, but I'm ready to do something on my  _own_ terms, without having to worry about following someone else's orders or watching out for a team.” 

“Does this mean you would not want to work with me?” Kori asked. Her tone was sad, but she knew Dick had caught on to her trick years ago.

He grinned at the knowledge that she was no longer truly angry with him. He kissed her forehead, making her smile. “There's honestly no one I would rather work with.”

“I feel the same way.” She was silent for a moment. “but that does not stop me from worrying about Garfield.” she added, making Dick groan in exasperation. He looked her in the eye.

“I know you are. I am too, but like I said, we can't continue to put our lives on hold. He can't put  _his_ life on hold. The thing with Mumbo... it was just a bit of a setback. That's all. It happens during the grieving process, but Gar will be fine.”

“He is acting the way he did immediately after Raven's death. He is sleeping nearly all the time, and I do not believe he is eating well.”

“He's not  _that—_ ”

“Have you seen him today, Richard?” she interrupted. “I have not, and it is one-thirty in the afternoon. I just fear that this 'setback' will get worse if we leave him now.”

“Kori, I—”

Before he could finish his sentence, an inhuman scream ripped through the tower.

Kori bolted in search of the source, Dick hot on her heels.

**~O~**

_ It had been a long time since he'd last been in a nightclub, and sadly, it wasn't really as fun as he remembered. The rapidly blinking strobe lights made him dizzy, the music's throbbing bass and ridiculously high volume was murder on his enhanced hearing, even though he was wearing mostly hidden earplugs, and he was kind of disturbed by just how much semen he could smell among the alcohol and cheap cologne and perfume. That was just  _ wrong. 

_ However, he couldn't say he was bothered by the company. He gave the woman sitting next to him in the booth a grin, and she rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the dance floor. As usual, she was the responsible one of the two of them, trying to get their job done. Tonight, that was trying to find the source of a new club drug that had been found in all the systems of a recent string of dead bodies. It was starting to get out of hand, so the titans had been called in. Dick had them all working undercover, scouring the clubs until they found something.  _

_ Changeling wanted to be responsible, but so far, he hadn't even caught a whiff of what they were looking for. Nearly every other drug, yes, but not the big one, so instead, he focused his attention on his surly partner. Like him, she wore a holo-ring to disguise her distinctive coloring; her light gray skin was now on the pale side of the “peaches and cream” coloring (whatever that meant), her hair was black and cut into an edgy pixie cut that made her already striking eyes look even more unbelievable in his opinion, and she'd been forced into the most out-of-character outfit Kori could think of: a tube top that looked like it was made completely of silver sequins, black leather pants, and a silver pair of strappy, sky-high torture machines, er,  _ heels. _ As usual, he thought she looked gorgeous, but knowing how much she hated the outfit, he knew not to say much about it or she'd hit him. She groaned in annoyance, and he quickly looked back at the floor.  _

_“What?” he asked, like he hadn't just been staring at her._

_ “I don't know why Dick thinks we'd be of any use in this place. I feel like I'm being bombarded by the emotions of excitable people, and I imagine all you can smell is alcohol and semen.” _

_ Changeling snorted.  _ It's funny 'cause it's true _ , he thought. When he spoke though, he thought he made a pretty good point.  _

_“It's not just us doing this, Rae. The rest of the team and a good chunk of JCPD are in places just like this, trying to find these creeps.”_

_Raven huffed. “It doesn't mean I have to like it.”_

_“The only reason you don't like this kind of scene is because you're not doin' it right.”_

_ Raven stared at him. “I'm  _ not  _ dancing or drinking, Gar.” _

_“I didn't think you would,” he snickered. A guy on the dance floor caught his attention, and he grinned. “but those are just two ways to have fun in a club. I think the third one is way more your style.” He pointed to the guy on the dance floor as subtly as he could._

_Raven looked in the direction he indicated, and her eyes went wide. “What is he doing?”_

_Gar snickered again. “I think that move was called the 'Trip Hop' back in 1995.”_

_“It looks like he's having a Charley Horse.”_

_“You know, I'm pretty sure that's how that move was invented.” He snickered again and cocked his head in the direction of another dancing clubber. “What do you think's going on over there?”_

_Raven focused on the woman for a second, and Gar, realizing what she was doing, gave her shoulder a hard shake to distract her. She snapped her head in his direction and glared at him, outraged at his audacity._

_“No powers!” he chided, ignoring the terror that came with doing something that annoyed Raven. “It's funnier to make up your own commentary for what's happening with bad dancers and drunk people.”_

_ “I don't  _ do _ funny,” the sorceress deadpanned.  _

_ “But you  _ do _ mock other people's stupidity. The whole time we've known each other is just one big, shining parade of you making fun of my screw-ups.” _

_Raven appeared unconvinced. “You do realize that woman might actually be having a seizure, because of these stupid strobe lights, right?”_

_ Gar rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Fine. If you  _ legit  _ think somebody's having a medical problem, you can use your powers. Other than that,” He gestured toward the crowd of dancers. “have at them.” _

_“Can I at least check on seizure lady before we play your stupid game?”_

_“Yes.”_

_ Raven focused on the dancing woman, and her expression turned thoughtful. “She's not having a seizure. She really is just dancing  _ that  _ badly.” _

_“Told you.” Gar laughed. He pointed to a drunk girl wailing loudly in the opposite corner. He was pretty sure she wasn't actually that messed up. The girls she seemed to be with looked annoyed and exasperated, rather than sympathetic or worried._

_Raven focused on the girl, and Changeling gave her another shove. She glared at him._

_“Would you stop that?”_

_“No powers!”_

_“If you keep shoving me, you won't have to worry about powers.” Raven snapped._

_“Alright!” Gar held up his hands. “Just don't forget the 'no powers' thing.”_

_“Fine,” Raven huffed. She looked back at the woman. “That girl is crying pathetically because,” Gar opened his mouth to tell her she was being kind of harsh when she pointed to someone else in the club. “she likes that guy, and he is clearly gay.”_

_Gar followed her gaze and let out a braying guffaw before he could stop himself, drawing curious stares from the people in the booth next to them. He clapped a hand over his mouth, but it didn't completely stop his laughter. The man Raven pointed to looked exactly like his old team leader Mento. Or would have if Mento had ever been on_ Ru Paul's Drag Race. _The man's long, multi-colored hair had been bound into seven ponytails and arranged in a mohawk, clearly reminiscent of that one_ American Idol  _contestant from years ago, he wore more makeup than Kori did when she first learned about the 'delightful, paint-like substance,' and his outfit consisted of a red, poet-style shirt open to his navel and leather pants tighter than Raven's._

_“You did that on purpose.” he accused when he saw Raven's smirk._

_“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she replied dismissively. “I was merely following the rules of your game.”_

_“Uh-huh. Sure you were,” he chortled. He made the mistake of looking back at the Mento lookalike right when he started to dance, and Gar let out a howl before slumping forward, beating the tabletop with his fist in his mirth._

_“Well, that was an unexpected bonus,” Raven commented, her amusement evident. She cocked her head as she examined the flamboyant man. “I wasn't aware that men... what's that move called again? Twerking?” That started a fresh round of howls for Garfield. “I wasn't aware men twerked.”_

_“Oh, God.” Gar gasped. He'd quit beating on the table, but his forehead was still pressed against it. He turned to look at Raven. “That was great.”_

_“Does this mean I win?” Raven asked, examining their drink menu disinterestedly._

_Garfield shot upright. “It means we are just getting started, Missy, and you just brought it.”_

_“I am shaking.” Raven replied, rolling her eyes, but he could see she was still amused._

_For a while, that was how they kept themselves entertained. One would pick a club patron, and the other would either comment on their dancing or come up with a reason for their sudden emotional outburst, be it laughter, tears, or amorousness. The longer they did this, the more Raven seemed to get into it, much to Changeling's delight. She came up with increasingly elaborate back stories that had him howling in laughter more than once, especially since they were delivered in that deadpan tone of hers. He was also thrilled when he actually made her laugh out loud one time. It was after that turn that he saw his next target._

_“What about that guy?” He directed Raven's attention to a douchey looking guy chatting up a girl at the bar who clearly wasn't interested. The dude reminded him of someone, and he wanted to see if Raven could see it too._

_“Oh God,” Raven drawled, making a disgusted face. “talk about picking someone on purpose.” Apparently, she could see the similarities._

_“Dude looks just like Adonis, right?”_

_“If I wasn't sure he was in prison, I'd be arresting this guy right now.”_

_“Any comments?” Gar asked._

_“He's a jerk who doesn't understand the word 'no'?”_

_“Besides the obvious.”_

_“No, and I'm not interested in thinking about that guy long enough to come up anything.” Raven said dismissively. She picked up her largely neglected green tea spritzer and took a sip._

_“Fair enough,” Gar replied. He winked at Raven. “Besides, I don't like you thinking about other guys that much either.”_

_“And there goes my plan to leave you for Mento and Sanjaya's lovechild.”_

_Gar choked back another guffaw. Choosing to ignore her unexpected knowledge of_ American Idol  _trivia for now, he looked at her with wide, earnest eyes. “I'm sorry I'm standing in the way of your happiness, baby.”_

_Raven snorted. “Don't call me 'baby.'”_

_“Yes, ma'am.” he replied, rolling his eyes playfully. He looked back at Adonis-Clone and stuck out his tongue in distaste. “Okay, dude needs to be stopped, seriously. Look at that.”_

_Raven looked in the other man's direction and narrowed her eyes._

_Adonis-Wannabe had gotten even more up in the girl's face, leaning on the bar and leering down her shirt._

_“Should we intervene?”_

_“I think this needs more...finesse.” Gar replied, grinning slowly._

_“How so?” Raven asked suspiciously._

_“We should pants him.”_

_Raven raised a brow at him. “Ignoring the fact that that is_ blatantly  _juvenile, even for you, what about that requires finesse?”_

_“In a normal situation, nothing. But in this situation,” Gar waggled his eyebrows at her. “I have a lovely assistant who can move stuff with her mind.”_

_Raven went back to her drink “No.”_

_“Come on, Rae!”_

_“No. I refuse to use my magic for something so stupid.”_

_“What would make it un-stupid?” Gar asked._

_Raven stared at him. “Nothing, now that you've used the word 'un-stupid.'” She picked up her drink with both hands and sipped at it the way she would her normal cup of tea._

_“Come on, Rae...” Gar coaxed. He moved closer to her and pointed to Adonis 2.0. “Look at him. Dude clearly deserves it. He looks like that creep Adonis. He won't leave that poor girl alone. He's wearing his pants in that stupid swag style you hate...”_

_He almost missed it, but he was sure he saw Raven's thumb twitch against her glass right before a loud exclamation of “What the fuck?!” rang across the club. He swiveled his head in the direction of the source and let out a bark of laughter at the sight of Adonis-Person. Somehow, he'd been moved to the center of the dance floor, and his pants were now around his knees, revealing his holey_ Spongebob Squarepants  _boxers. Everyone directly around him was laughing, including the girl he'd been harassing._

_“Nice underwear, dude!” Changeling called, drawing the attention of more clubbers and making them laugh. Face beet-red in both embarrassment and anger, Adonis's Twin yanked his pants back up and quickly shuffled out of the club. Changeling looked back at Raven, his grin even bigger._

_“I saw that.”_

_“Saw what?” Raven asked, taking another drink. To the casual observer, she'd be the picture of nonchalance, but Gar could see her staring at him over the rim of her glass, daring him to tell her what it was he saw._

_He just laughed and threw an arm over her shoulder._

_She didn't buck him._

_“Hilarious how he lost his pants like that,” he commented casually. “Guess the girl he was bugging taught him a lesson.”_

_“Must have been,” Raven replied neutrally. She put her drink down and looked at him. “You know, we came here to do a job. Remember? Catching criminals?”_

_Gar looked her over, his gaze lingering on her hips and legs. Her killer legs drove him crazy any time, but when she did something as hot as letting her inner prankster out, they became even more irresistible right along with the rest of her. “You know what's really criminal around here?” he asked conversationally._

_“What?” Raven replied, her tone letting him know she wasn't in the mood for funny business. She dated the wrong guy for that._

_“Those pants. They are_ definitely  _criminal.”_

_“My pants?” Raven drawled, humoring him._

_“Yeah. They're made of leather, which some poor animal had to die for, and the way they hug your legs and butt is practically indecent exposure. Criminal,” He shook his head in apparent sadness and then looked at her solemnly. “You should take them off.”_

_“God, that line is terrible even for you.” Raven huffed derisively, making Garfield grin._

_“I'm serious!” he protested, though he was sure Raven could hear the laughter in his voice. “I'd even say those pants are evil. The way they look on you is tempting me away from the Vegetarian Path of Righteousness.”_

_Raven stared at him. “Vegetarian Path of Righteousness?” she deadpanned._

_“Yep.” Gar nodded sagely._

_“The only reason I haven't hit you is because I don't want to discourage your sudden use of polysyllabic words.”_

_Gar laughed and tightened his arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer. He nuzzled her neck, smiling at the sensation of her hair, her real hair just beneath the hologram, tickling his face. “Love you, baby.”_

_“Something's wrong, Garfield.” Raven replied, her voice cool and forceful like it would be during a battle._

That wasn't right,  _Gar thought vaguely. Puzzled, he straightened. “What do you mean, Rae?”_

_When she looked at him, her expression wasn't that weirdly cute combination of relaxed and exasperated. Instead, she looked a bit sad. And confused. Suddenly, he noticed the club was completely silent: no people or music._

_“This isn't where_ we  _were.”_

_He felt fear and anguish start to well up inside him. He'd heard that phrase from her before, but he couldn't place where. “Rae, what—”_

_Before he could ask his question, a voice he hadn't heard in years—had hoped to never hear again—rang out._

_“_ When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east... _”_

_Gar looked wildly around the room. It was completely empty. The tables and bar, everything but the booth they were sitting in, was gone, and the lights, almost blinding compared to the original darkness of the club, were on. It should have been easy to see the source of the voice, but the speaker was nowhere to be found._

_“Rae,” he said cautiously “We have to get out of here now.” He turned to look next to him and was horrified to see the seat was empty. “Raven!” he yelled, panicked. The voice spoke again._

_“_ When the seas go dry... _”_

_“Garfield!”_

_He whirled and saw Raven standing in the center of the brightly lit dance floor. Her holo-ring was gone, her coloring back to its usual gray and purple. She wore civilian lounging clothes, and her stomach was distended. She was pregnant._

_He jumped out of his seat. He tried to run to her, but he didn't seem to get any closer. He poured on more speed, sprinting now, and still he couldn't get to her. He turned into an antelope, cheetah, T-Rex._

_She never got any closer._

_“_ When the mountains blow away in the wind like leaves... _”_

_A gash appeared in the center of Raven's stomach, spurting blood and making her scream in agony._

_“Raven!” Gar shouted, trying to run even faster. She was only twenty feet away! He had to get to her. He had to save her! He watched in horror as the area around her wound, clothes and all, began to turn dark gray and crack like burning wood._

_“Find me, Gar!” Raven called. “Find us!”_

_“_ When you find another woman able to carry a changeling's child... _”_

_A second gash opened up over Raven's heart, making her cry out again, weakly. There was more blood, and then the area around it also began to turn dark gray and crack._

_“RAVEN!!” He looked wildly around the room for the source of the voice. “LET ME HELP HER, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!” he bellowed. There was no reply._

_He looked back at Raven. To his horror, the grayness was spreading. The infection around both wounds met, and almost all of Raven's upper body, from her shoulders to hips, looked like it was made of ash. He tried to run even faster._

_Suddenly, whatever spell that had kept him in place was lifted, and he bolted to her. The grayness continued to spread, so fast that everything but her head was gray and cracking by the time he was a couple of feet from her. The areas right around the wounds seemed to be crumbling away._

_“Find us.” she repeated in a whisper, right as the grayness overtook her head._

_“RAVEN!” He reached for her, and she collapsed into a pile of ash. “NO!” he roared, dropping to his knees. He stared at the ashes, hands held out impotently in front of him. “No...”_

_Suddenly, a pair of black and gray combat boots materialized in front of him, opposite Raven's ashes._

_Changeling looked up._

_“That is when Raven will return to you.” Slade said._

**~O~**

Garfield woke screaming, the inhuman sound torn from his throat with enough force to strain his vocal cords. He felt a hand grab his shoulder, and he swung in the direction he thought it was coming from. He felt his fist connect with a face and saw his assailant sailing through the air away from him out of the corner of his eye. He leapt to his feet. Someone else reached for him. They were right in front of him, but he didn't, couldn't, see their face. He just saw hands reaching for him.

He shifted into a tiger and leapt at the attacker, but before he connected, he saw a blur of purple and orange leap in front of his target. A sudden blow to his chest sent him into the opposite wall. The first hit hadn't deterred him, but his connection with the wall was enough to disorient him. Shaking his head to clear it, he finally saw that he wasn't in an empty club, and it wasn't Slade or any other enemy after him. He was in his bedroom, and his friends were there, Victor using a wall to help pull himself up and cradling his jaw and Kori hovering in front of Dick, her hands glowing with green energy. They all looked at him with extreme caution... like they were trying to approach a dangerous animal. 

“Guys?” Gar asked, dread creeping up inside him. “What just happened?”

“I think that's our line, Green Bean,” Cyborg replied, working his jaw. Once he seemed to be satisfied that it wasn't broken, he turned his attention fully on Garfield. “If I had to guess though, I'd say you had a night terror. One bad enough to make you give me one hell of a left hook and go  _Jungle Book_ on Dick.”

“Guys...” Remorse and shame mixed with the dread in him. “I am  _so_ sorry.”

“You were not yourself.” Kori replied, gently touching back down to the ground and extinguishing her starbolts. “Are you alright?”

Gar let out a bark of bitter laughter. “I think  _that_ is my line.”

“The worst you did is something that can be fixed in just a few minutes,” Dick said, stepping around Kori. He looked to Cyborg, and the bionic man nodded in agreement. He looked back at Changeling. “That sounded like a really bad nightmare though, Gar.”

“You screamed,” Kori added. “It was very alarming. You did not sound like you.”

“You okay, man?” Victor asked.

“Fine,” Gar replied quickly. “Just a bad dream.”

His friends had just started treating him normally again, like he wouldn't shatter into a thousand pieces if they did or said something that even sort of reminded him of Raven or the baby or the monster that killed them. He didn't want to go back to that place where they walked on eggshells around him and pretended to be happy when they weren't. One mention of Slade or a dream about Raven dying would send all that progress straight to hell. His friends trying to play therapist was the last thing he needed right now.

“You are certain?” Kori asked.

“Yes.” Gar said, kind of stiffly. His friends exchanged glances, not even trying to be subtle about it, and that annoyed him. They could at least  _pretend_ they didn't think he was cracked in the head. 

“Um, you know Gar—” Dick started.

“I said I'm fine.”

“But you have not had nightmares this bad since Raven...”

“Can you guys leave please?” Gar interrupted Kori. “I need to get dressed.”

“Man, the thing with Mumbo—” Vic started.

“This has nothing to do with the thing with Mumbo!” Gar finally snapped. “It was just a bad dream! We  _all_ have them. That kind of shit happens!”

“You experienced a vivid hallucination of your dead wife three days ago,” Dick broke in with his 'leader' voice.

Vic and Kori cringed at his bluntness, while Garfield just stared. The only person to ever come out and just say his family was dead was Bruce Wayne. Most people just trailed off meaningfully or said things like 'passed away.'

“It's completely normal for you to have a mild setback grieving-wise, like a nightmare, after something like that. It doesn't make you less of a man to react that way.” Gar cringed noticeably, but Dick ignored him and kept speaking. “All I ask is that you talk about it. It's better if you do, alright?”

“Fine,” Gar replied rigidly. “Will you guys leave now?”

“Gar...” Vic started.

“What?!” he snapped. “I had a nightmare, okay? It was bad, and it was about Raven, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?!”

“If it's the truth.” Dick answered, still in leader-mode. His other friends were looking at him sympathetically, in that way he hated.

“It is, but I don't want to go into details, alright? It was just an ugly dream that I want to forget. It won't make me turn into a mess like I was when Rae died, okay?”

His friends looked at him for a moment. Dick nodded first and left the room, Kori at his heels. She turned in his doorway and gave him a reassuring smile before stepping out of the room. Vic slapped him on the back and then followed the others out.

**~O~**

In the hallway, Kori gave Dick a pointed look. He looked back in the direction of Gar's room and sighed. He looked back at Kori.

“One more month.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

It was an awkward silence that greeted Robin's order to begin the team meeting. With the exception of Robin and Raven, every titan in the room suddenly found their waffles to be the most interesting things they'd ever seen. Raven herself just watched Robin, practically daring him to make her talk. He'd find out what would happen if he stuck his nose in her business. He briefly made eye contact with her and then looked toward the rest of their teammates. Raven smirked inwardly. Smart.

Robin continued to stare at the other three titans for several moments, but none of them even looked up, and Raven could feel Robin's annoyance mounting. Unconcerned, she simply took another bite of her waffles before putting the plate on the arm of the sofa and shifting in her seat. Making it look like she was just getting more comfortable, Raven leaned forward slightly so she could see _all_ her teammates. Beast Boy, despite his earlier determination to talk, looked exactly like Cyborg and Starfire: slouched forward, staring determinedly at his waffles and only occasionally taking a bite. She huffed in annoyance. He'd been bothering her for three days, and when he finally had an opportunity to make his problems the center of attention, he clammed up. Hypocrite. 

She leaned back in her seat and resumed eating her own waffles and watching Robin challengingly. However, most of her attention was honestly on her food. It pained her to admit it, but Cyborg was right. This was the first true meal she'd had since the sleepover, and it was  _perfection._ She may not need to eat as often as her teammates, but she did relish the warmth and fullness of a good meal in her stomach. It made her feel...better. Or would have if Robin had left her alone. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he seemed to ignore her. Instead, he gave each of them a look in turn before sighing in obvious irritation. “Alright. We'll do it like this.” He put his own plate of waffles down on the table next to him and straightened into what the entire team recognized as his 'leader' stance. “Titans, three days ago, we all witnessed a vision of the future, courtesy of the Herald.”

Raven noticed he didn't mention  _how_ he knew they'd all witnessed the vision, and, out of idle curiosity, reached out to feel her friends' surface emotions to get their reactions to Robin's statement. Cyborg was completely apathetic, and both Beast Boy and Starfire felt slightly ashamed. Starfire made sense, but she wasn't sure why Beast Boy was reacting that way. What did he have to be ashamed of? The girls had spied on him, not the other way around. After thinking for a second, Raven finally decided it didn't matter. She continued to eat her waffles, feeling slightly regretful that they were almost gone. She really  _should_ have eaten sooner. Ignoring his teammates' varying reactions, Robin continued to speak:

“It is my belief that what we saw has had a negative emotional impact on this team. Until it's resolved, our effectiveness as a crime-fighting unit has been compromised.” He then gave them all a glare that might have chilled Raven when she was eight and practically growled his next command at them. “So talk.”

The empath rolled her eyes. _Talk about being overdramatic_.

She swabbed the last bite of her waffles in the remaining blueberry preserves on her plate and finished her meal. She licked her lips and suddenly felt a foreign emotion jolt through her. It disappeared before she could trace what it was exactly or who it came from, but it still had her wondering. Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, she glanced at each the titans on the couch with her, but none of them gave anything away. They were all staring at their plates as though the meaning of life could be found in the patterned plastic, and all of them radiated nervousness and trepidation, most likely at the thought of talking about this sensitive subject in front of everyone. Raven knew that she wouldn't be figuring out which one the emotion came from any time soon, so she simply shrugged slightly and focused her attention on Robin. From him, she sensed annoyance, determination, and rising exasperation.

“Guys, I refuse to let this fester and then come back to bite us in the ass!” the masked teen finally snapped. “No one's leaving until we fix this! Talk. What do you think we need to do to go back to normal?”

Either getting exasperated himself or taking pity on Robin, Cyborg spoke next. “Dude, I've been  _trying_ to fix us.”

“You've been trying to ply us with food and cheap distractions.” Robin said stiffly, and Raven smirked. _Must still be miffed about the waffles_.

“That's  _how_ I fix us when shit gets weird!” Cyborg insisted. He put an arm each around Starfire and Beast Boy and gave them both a shake, resulting in a surprised squawk from the latter. 

Raven raised a brow at his reaction.

Cyborg just ignored him and pressed on. “Whenever something happens that bothers all of us, usually, I make BB and Star happy again, they get you and Rae out of the dumps, and then we go kick someone's ass. It's that easy.”

Raven stared at Cyborg. His corndog/waffle nonsense had a  _point_ ? She'd always assumed he was overcompensating, and judging by the gaping looks her other teammates were giving the metal man, she was not alone. 

“Or at least it usually is,” Cyborg amended, apparently ignorant of their shock. “Usually, all it takes is a mustard cake for Star and letting Green Bean win at  _Street Racer 8_ to snap them out of a mood, so they can take care of you and Rae, but none of the usual stuff's working this time.”

They were all silent for a moment, and then Beast Boy spoke. “Wait a minute, you  _let_ me win at  _Street Racer 8?_ That's bullshit!”

Raven rolled her eyes. Of course that's all  _he'd_ get out of Cyborg's 'strategy.'

Cyborg just smiled smugly. “Take the shame like a man, BB.”

Smirking slightly, Raven looked back at Robin and saw that he looked a little unsettled.

“Uh... How long have you been doing this, Cyborg?”

The bionic man took another bite of his waffles and shrugged. “Since we met Slade, probably.”

“But that was four years ago!” Starfire exclaimed, and this time, even Raven gaped.

“Wait, wait,  _wait,_ ” Beast Boy said, pushing himself away from Cyborg so he could turn in his seat and really look at him. “Dude, you mean to tell me that you've been  _handling_ me and Star the whole time we've lived together?”

“Ya'll handle as easy as the T-Car.” Cyborg replied, his lips curving into another smug smile.

“Is your comparison of Beast Boy and I to an inanimate, unthinking mode of transportation meant to be an insult to our intelligence, friend?” Starfire asked coolly, her use of the word  _friend_ functioning more like a warning than a title.

Raven backed up in her seat, and she noticed Beast Boy shift into a hummingbird behind Cyborg. A second later, she felt a light weight settle on her shoulder and was mildly surprised to realize it was the shapeshifter. However, she decided not to kill him for now. For once he was just being sensible. They all knew that Starfire was naïve, and that she was self-aware enough to realize it herself, but one thing she did  _not_ take kindly to was an implication that she was unintelligent. She despised being thought of as 'the bimbo,' as she would say. As Raven prepared herself to bring up a shield if necessary, Cyborg seemed to remember that and quickly tried to backtrack. 

“That's not what I meant at all, Star!” He chuckled nervously and scooted away from the incensed alien who was now sitting straight up in her seat. “All I meant is that it's easy to make you and BB feel better. That's a  _good_ thing, great even. I wish all my friends were as easy to cheer up as you guys, and then when ya'll are happy, the team's happy and—”

“Enough,” Robin interrupted. He put a hand on Starfire's knee and gave her a reassuring half-smile. “I'm sure Cyborg didn't mean to insult you.”

“I didn't!” he chimed in.

“He was just trying to say that your ability to bounce back from stressful situations has proven to be an asset to the team, and he's glad he knows how to...trigger it, I guess, because it helps us all.”

“That is  _exactly_ what I meant, Starfire!” Cyborg replied with exaggerated cheeriness. 

Raven could tell Starfire wasn't completely convinced, but she nodded anyway.

“I understand, Robin. Thank you for your insight.”

Raven felt Beast Boy's relief and saw a flash of green out of the corner of her eye. Before she could react, a green changeling landed surprisingly hard in her lap. She glowered at him, but rather than taking the hint and getting off her like someone with a modicum of intelligence would do, he actually stretched out. He crossed his legs at the ankle and put his feet in Starfire's lap, resulting in an amused smirk from her, and interlaced his fingers behind his head, before leaning back against the arm of the couch. Much to Raven's disappointment, his head missed her sticky plate, and he waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Hey.”

She shoved him to the floor.

Starfire giggled, Cyborg snickered, and Raven could see that even Robin was amused, even though the only evidence was a slight quirk of his lips. With exaggerated stiffness, Beast Boy stood up, rubbed his backside, and limped pitifully back to his side of the couch. 

Raven just rolled his eyes at his theatrics before narrowing them into another glare at him.

The idiot actually had the gall to wink at her!

She turned stubbornly away and looked back at Robin, but she could  _feel_ his amusement at her expense.

“Are we done trying to assault one another?” Robin called over Cyborg and Starfire's laughter.

“That remains to be seen.” Raven bit out.

Their other teammates thankfully finished their...levity and nodded.

“Alright, revelations about our coping mechanisms aside,” Robin continued. “we still need to resolve our issue with this vision. Besides using cheap distractions...”

“I resent that.” Cyborg muttered.

“How do we resolve this?” Robin asked like Cyborg hadn't spoken. “What's bothering all of you?”

Once again, the more lighthearted titans stared at their plates as though they were the most fascinating things in the room, and Raven rolled her eyes at them and at Robin's insistence that they talk about their feelings. She snorted inwardly. Like Robin had a right to make  _anyone_ talk about feelings. 

The bird in question stared at his teammates, exasperation once again taking over his features. “It's annoying when you all talk at once, guys. Really.” He sighed. “Okay. I guess  _I'll_ go first. It really bothered me seeing a potential future where Raven was dead.” He looked at his teammates expectantly. Only one looked back.

Raven quirked a brow at him. “So?”

Robin's eyebrow twitched. “That does it. Starfire!”

The Tamaranean jumped. “Yes, Robin?”

“You're the one who's been the most noticeably bothered by the vision. Tell us what's bothering you.” After a pause, he added a 'please' to his order, but that didn't change what it was. An order.

Starfire looked reluctant, but she wasn't one to outright disobey an order. With a sigh, she spoke.

“I found the entire thing to be most distressing. I was very pained and saddened at the idea that Raven will eventually be murdered. That was undoubtedly the worst part. However, I was also the 'heartbroken' for Beast Boy's future doppelganger, because he was clearly still suffering the loss of his mate and offspring, and also because I am aware of Raven's belief that she will never be loved romantically—”

“Starfire!” Raven snapped. Robin and Cyborg looked at her in surprise, but a glare from her quickly put a stop to that. Beast Boy thankfully didn't seem to notice, apparently off in his own world.

“I am still aware of it, and it still played a role in my distress, Raven!” Starfire retorted.

Raven snorted. See if there'd be any more of 'the girls nights' after this.

Ignoring her, Starfire continued to explain herself: “As I said, I am aware of Raven's belief that she will never be loved romantically, and it made me hurt on her behalf to know that she would in fact experience an intense and true love, only for her to be parted from it. I was also very disturbed at the realization that Raven and Beast Boy will lose a _bumgorf_ , especially one so young. The thought of such innocence being lost to this world is most disheartening. Finally, I am very pained because I cannot contemplate a way to prevent such atrocities from happening to my beloved friends. Every time I see Beast Boy or Raven now, all of these emotions converge into a feeling of great anguish that can only be expressed through weeping.” She looked around at her teammates. “That is all.”

**~O~**

Jasmine. That had been the flowery smell in his dream.

Beast Boy realized this in the middle of the team meeting Robin had called.

He tried to pay attention to what was going on, but his focus quickly wavered and died, especially when Robin talked. So far, there had only been two interesting parts to this meeting. The first had been when he accidentally saw Raven lick her lips and had to mentally pound on his lusty primal side before she picked up on anything. The second was when Cyborg admitted to 'handling' him and Star—he still refused to believe that Chrome Dome had actually  _ let  _ him win at  _ Street Racer 8 _ ; he owned that game—and pissed off the pretty alien. Without thinking, he'd shifted into a bird and went to the one person who could make alien-proof shields with just a thought. Raven. 

However, that probably wasn't the smartest idea he'd ever had, especially since his perch on her shoulder had given him a great view of her breasts and resulted in him involuntarily comparing them to the dream ones. His attempt at distracting himself from that line of thinking hadn't been that bright either. He'd ended up with Raven's unexpectedly soft body—he'd half-expected her body to be as prickly as her personality—pressed under him and her flowery, jasmine-y scent in his nose. He shrugged slightly. At least he'd gotten a bit of a laugh out of that whole thing, even if she did knock him to the floor.

Once the meeting had gotten “serious” though, he once again found himself unable to concentrate on anything that was going on. Despite it 'affecting their team dynamic' or whatever Robin was ranting about, nobody wanted to talk about this, especially not Beast Boy. Or, he didn't want to talk about it in front of  _ everyone. _ Honestly, the only reason he'd even wanted to talk to Raven about it was because she'd had a starring role in the vision and dreams, but because he hadn't been allowed to talk about it with  _ just  _ Raven, and because it was taking forever to get someone besides Robin to open their mouth, Beast Boy's attention was drawn to something else. 

Specifically, the scent of jasmine.

Though he hadn't noticed it, at least consciously, until a couple of days ago, there were actually a lot of smells he associated with Raven. Jasmine, which he guessed was her soap and shampoo, was the strongest, with lavender, probably a detergent or fabric softener, being a close second. Beneath those were other, more subtle, smells: old paper and leather, spearmint toothpaste, candle wax, and tea leaves, and right now, she also smelled like blueberries, from her waffles. There was also her natural scent beneath the false ones, and it was always changing. It seemed to be stuck on annoyance right now though. Peppery was the best way he could describe that scent, and it stung his nose and made him wonder what was irritating her so much. He knew it was probably Robin trying to make them talk about feelings (a joke all by itself), but he couldn't help but wonder if it was somehow his fault. As usual.

_ You are sniffing her like a dog,  _ he half-reminded, half-scolded, himself. He'd been doing that a lot lately, scolding himself. And smelling her. Usually at the same time, because he  _ knew  _ it was creepy, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He hadn't started doing it for any weirdly sexual reason; he'd only started familiarizing himself with her scents, because he'd been freaked out by that vision and wanted to keep tabs on her. When she wasn't willing to come out and  _ show  _ them she was okay, smell was the easiest way to do that. After last night's dream though, he now felt like he was doing something  _ dirty _ , but it was hard to stop or even ignore it now that he'd started. 

Particularly that stupid jasmine and what he now had to associate with it. A mental picture of older Raven wearing nothing but a smirk flashed through his mind, and he bit his lip.

 _Don't react,_ he told himself, desperately hoping Raven didn't sense anything. He tuned into the meeting and found that Starfire was talking about why she'd been all weepy the last few days. After about four seconds of listening to how distressing it must be for him to lose a mate and offspring, he tuned out again and went back to his own thoughts. Thankfully, the memory of naked Raven had gone away, but after a second, his masochistic brain threw a more recent memory at him.

Her scent when he'd gotten her out of her room.

It was part of her natural smell, but _this_ facet of it was so rare that he often didn't think to associate it with her.

Arousal. She'd been at least a little aroused when she came out of her room, and it made the primal and pervy teen parts of his head join forces to come up with the filthiest possible explanations for it. In HD. With vivid sound effects courtesy of the memory “Bob/Gar” had provided in his dream.

A big bolt of lust shot through him, and he quickly put his plate in his lap while cursing his neoprene uniform. As he shifted in his seat and prayed no one looked at him right then, the smell he'd just been thinking about teased his nostrils, and his eyes went wide. His gaze snapped to Raven and met her equally wide-eyed stare before she quickly turned away.

Embarrassment surged through him, and he resisted the urge to either A) groan out loud or B) slam his head into the wooden frame of the couch until he lost consciousness. This was worse than what happened in the hall!

The last time he'd smelled this scent on her, it was only his desperation to talk that kept him from dropping dead in humiliation after he'd actually _groaned_ in front of her. Well, that and the fact that she didn't seem to put together the reason for his weird reaction to her, but this time was so much worse. There was nothing to distract him from his shame, and Raven actually _felt_ what he was feeling.

 _She was turned on though,_ an unhelpful voice in his head pointed out.

 _She's a fucking empath! She reflects what others feel!_ he snapped back at the voice.

_At least you don't need to have the plate in your lap anymore_ . 

_Well, thank God for that!_

He squeezed his eyes shut in mortification.

He wasn't supposed to be thinking of Raven like this. Period. But he did, and now she was probably going to send him to a dimension where he'd be force-fed raw, bloody meat by half-naked, hot girls until the sight of either one of those things made his dick shrivel in terrified confusion for the rest of his life. Mentally slapping himself for the ten thousandth time that day, he took his empty waffle plate off his lap and put it on the floor before tuning in to the meeting.

**~O~**

As an earnest Robin and a clearly half-hearted and preoccupied Cyborg comforted Starfire, Raven squeezed her eyes shut and chanted her mantra so fast in her mind, it all sounded like one word. She'd been listening to Starfire's explanation of her feelings and feeling both touched by her concern and mildly exasperated for reacting so strongly, when the foreign emotion from earlier hit her senses like a tidal wave.

Heat bloomed over and over inside her like a fireworks display, leaving her sweaty and fighting to keep her breath from coming out as ragged gasps. Her body was suddenly so sensitive the feel of her uniform against her skin made her shudder, and between her legs was a rare but easy to understand wetness, accompanied by an aching emptiness. The duration and intensity of the emotion gave her enough time to know  _exactly_ what this emotion was and from who the source of it was. 

_Lust,_ Love panted in her mind.  _Beast Boy is feeling lust._

_What the hell?!_ she screeched inwardly, and she practically whirled to look at Beast Boy. 

The metamorph was so flushed, his face was now a ruddy brown, and embarrassment and panic rolled off him in waves. Suddenly, his nostrils flared, and his gaze snapped up to meet hers. She quickly turned her attention back to Robin, but she still felt shock, another bolt of lust, and then more embarrassment. Why the hell was he feeling  _lust_ of all things at a time like this?

_Alien tears make his pants feel tingly,_ Rude cackled, and Raven wished she was facing the emoticlone for the sole purpose of glaring at her. 

_I believe he wasn't paying attention to Starfire,_ Knowledge interjected.  _If you think about it, you'd realize that for most of the meeting, the feelings coming from him consisted mostly of boredom and confusion until... you know._

_He wants us,_ Rage rumbled.  _Claim him now!_

_There's no evidence that he wants us,_ Raven replied stubbornly.  _What I felt was a seventeen year old boy. Teenage boys are aroused if a breeze hits them the right way. Now, shut up. I'm trying to pay attention to the meeting._

_It's a bunch of sharing and caring, hug-it-out bullshit,_ Rude snarled.  _Bird Brain needs to stop watching Dr. Phil with Space Barbie. I personally think Green Genes wanting your coochie is a bigger thing to worry about. Or at least more interesting to_ think _about,_ she finished slyly. 

_He does have that primal thing going on,_ Love chimed in, her voice throatier than usual,  _that could be kind of hot._

“Okay, is there going to be a point to this meeting any time soon?!” Raven demanded, determined to ignore her lecherous emotions.

Robin leveled a glare at her, and she returned it with equal intensity.

“The point, Raven,” he said, almost gritting his teeth. “is to get this stuff off our chests, so it doesn't mess with us later. As I've explained already.” He looked over at Cyborg. “Your turn.”

The half-robot groaned, but he obeyed. “Fine. Like  _everybody_ else, I don't like the idea of somebody offing Raven. I don't like future BB being all sad because of it. I'm confused and kind of uncomfortable at the idea of them being married, let alone havin' sexy time—”

_I'm not!_ Love called out, and Raven vowed to enter Nevermore and strangle her. 

“—and I don't like the idea of a baby getting killed,” Cyborg finished. “But, I've been too focused on getting you guys back up and running to focus much on my own issues with what we saw. I just think about how we live in a multiverse, so that stuff is  _probably_ gonna happen or  _is_ happening on another Earth.”

Raven stared at Cyborg. Once again, she was surprised by his insight. She also felt like an idiot now. She'd taken Herald's vision  _literally,_ practically as a prophecy of the future, when in reality, it could be happening in another universe. In fact, it probably  _was_ happening another universe. The guy  _specialized_ in inter-dimensional travel for God's sake!

_Well, this is awkward,_ said the voice she recognized as Knowledge. 

_And you're supposed to be the smart one,_ Rude drawled.

_Excuse me for being unable to remember that kind of detail in the face of emotional trauma!_ Knowledge snapped. 

_You forgot a basic rule that fucking_ everyone  _knows! Congratulations, Dumbass!_

Raven felt the beginnings of a headache that she was knew was probably the result of one of the emotions attacking Rude to defend Knowledge's honor. The academic emoticlone rarely did much of her own fighting. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Are we done yet?” she grumbled.

“Not quite.” Robin replied, looking at an oblivious Beast Boy.

**~O~**

After what he called the 'Embarrassing As Fuck Incident That Will Never Be Spoken Of Again If He Survived It' (he needed to work on a shorter title), Beast Boy tried to pay attention to the meeting, but he tuned in right as Raven was talking—sounding _pissed—_ and he was once again distracted by his own fear and humiliation.

 _And the clouds opened up, and God said: I_ hate _you, Beast Boy,_ the changeling thought miserably.

Raven was going to kill him.

He took a breath and let it out in a long sigh. Honestly, that was starting to sound more and more appealing. He really wished he hadn't been all “full-steam ahead!” when Herald suggested showing them the future. Now, he was having weird dreams and thinking weird thoughts and feeling weird stuff, and...

“Beast Boy!”

He morphed into a cat and let out a startled yowl before returning to his natural form and falling onto the couch. Clutching his chest like it could calm his racing heart, he looked at his teammates.

Starfire and Cyborg were looking at him like they were in on a joke he wasn't, Raven was glaring at him, and Robin's jaw was clenched in annoyance.

“Dude!” he yelled at his leader, obviously the source of the... _surprise._

“Care to tell us what it was Cyborg just said?”

_Shit._

“Well, uh...” Beast Boy nervously scratched at the back of his head. “Why do _you_ need me to tell you? Weren't you guys paying attention?”

Starfire was the only person who _didn't_ roll their eyes at his reply.

“That's what I thought.” Robin said, shaking his head. “What Cyborg was _saying,_ that obviously wasn't important enough for you to pay attention to—”

Beast Boy huffed.

“was a very good point about how we shouldn't be bothered by this vision. Herald specializes in inter-dimensional travel, and since we live in a multiverse, it's probably more likely what he showed us will happen on another Earth. He did say it was random after all” Robin finished.

 _Well,_ that _explains a lot!_ hesnapped at himself. Suddenly, he felt like a complete moron. Of _course_ this vision thing was probably happening on another Earth! It will probably never have anything to do with them!

 _But what about the dreams?_ a small voice in his mind asked.

“Basically,” Robin was saying, “what Herald showed us was disturbing. I'm not downplaying that. However, it's statistically unlikely that it'll happen to us or even in this universe. For the sake of our sanity, I believe we should treat what we saw as similar to watching a sad movie. It's no big deal.”

“Great. Glad that's settled.” Raven said curtly. She picked up her empty plate and stood. “Now, I'm going to meditate.”

“Wait.” Beast Boy said. He spoke quietly, but it was still loud enough for his teammates to hear.

Raven turned quickly and hit him with a glare that made Robin's 'Dark Knight Special' look like a 'come hither smile.' He cringed noticeably, but he wasn't ready to back down. His other friends just looked at him curiously.

He sighed. Moment of truth. “Guys, ever since Herald showed us the future, I've been having weird dreams. Every night.” He looked around at all his friends. Everyone looked thoughtful except Raven, who just kept glaring at him.

“Are they the female horses of the night?” Starfire asked kindly.

After taking a second to decode 'Star-speak,' Beast Boy shook his head. “They aren't nightmares. Not really. Just...weird.”

“Weird how?” Cyborg asked.

“Uh... in the dreams, I'm me, but...I'm not.”

“That doesn't tell us anything.” Robin said bluntly.

“But that's what they're like!” Beast Boy insisted. “In these dreams, it's me, like I _look_ like me, and I can feel myself and my animal forms in my head, but it's like someone else is there in my head too, and they're the one in charge.”

“Like you're possessed?” Raven demanded harshly. She wasn't glaring at him anymore, exactly. It was more like she was glaring at whatever might have a hold of him. It made sense that she'd be kind of sensitive about someone being possessed when Beast Boy thought about it.

“No. Not exactly. Or at least it doesn't feel like how I would imagine being possessed would.” he said quickly, before Raven could set up a full-scale exorcism. “It's weird. I'm totally aware of what I'm saying and doing, and I can feel things just fine, but _I'm_ not the one telling my body to say and do these things. The...other presence in my head is the one telling my body to say and do these things, and I can feel _his_ reactions and feelings about these things right along with my own, _and_ I can see hismemories. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like I'm going through the motions of someone else's memories, but...not, because it's my body. It's weird.” he finished. He looked around and saw that all of his friends, even Raven looked thoughtful. The latter even had her head cocked and her eyes narrowed as she studied him.

Before he could say anything, Raven cleared the distance between them in a few strides and placed a glowing blue palm on his forehead. In his head, he felt a kind of slithering, shifting sensation.

“There's no foreign presence in your mind.” Raven announced a second later.

Beast Boy swatted her hand away. “Dude, it's private in there!”

Raven just stared at him incredulously, and he guessed she was outraged that he technically hit her. She continued to stare at him, and he resisted the urge to fidget. After a second, she finally spoke again, this time through gritted teeth: “As I said, you don't have a foreign presence in your mind. Nothing's _making_ you have these dreams. You're welcome.”

With that, she turned and started to walk away.

“Raven!” Robin called when it became apparent she was trying to leave the living area.

“What?!” she snapped, turning around.

“Our meeting's not over yet.”

“The meeting was to discuss our issues and reassure ourselves that this vision _isn't_ real. Looks like your _mission_ is accomplished.” Raven replied, putting an extra dollop of sarcasm on the last few words.

“It is for everyone else. You however seem exactly the same as before,” Robin said sternly. “Talk.”

This glare made the one Raven gave Beast Boy a few minutes before look nice, but Robin didn't even flinch. He continued to stare her down, his jaw clenched. After staring at at each other a moment, Raven was the one who broke the silence.

“Fine. I was disturbed by the thoughts of my death and possibly causing the death of a child,” Robin opened his mouth to say something about that, but Raven just plowed on, flicking a glance in Beast Boy's direction before looking away. “I don't even want to _discuss_ the thought of Beast Boy and I _ever_ being in a romantic relationship, because it _won't_ happen. Ever.”

Beast Boy huffed. _Fine. That goes double for me!_

“However, as Cyborg pointed out, it's likely that all this is happening in another universe, so there's no point in worrying about it.” Raven finished.

Robin gave her a considering look for a minute before relaxing and nodding. “Fair enough. The meeting's dismissed.”

“Thank you so much, Fearless Leader.” Raven snarled, prompting another glare from the masked teen.

Honestly, Beast Boy wasn't sure he felt all that better.

“Uh... guys?” he said, and Raven and Cyborg glared at him. He ignored Cyborg and decided to run from Raven later. “What about my dreams?”

“Raven said there was nothing outside of your mind causing them,” Robin said shortly. “Strange dreams are a normal reaction to weird things like this, and as long as they're not keeping you from sleeping, there's nothing to worry about.”

Rationally, Beast Boy knew Robin was right, but part of him was annoyed that he could just dismiss this so easily. They felt so _real._ The annoyed part suggested mentioning the contingency plans he'd heard in last night's dream, but he quickly shut that part down. Again, there was no way Robin had plans to _kill_ his friendssocked away. It was ridiculous.

“Okay.” he said reluctantly.

With that, Starfire grabbed Robin's hand and began pulling him out of the room. Raven began to walk out as well.

“Come on, BB. Let's play!” Cyborg said, picking up a game controller.

“No thanks, dude.” Beast Boy replied. He turned and started to follow his other friends out. He had other stuff on his mind.

Cyborg snorted. “You're just scared to play me now that you know you only win when I let you.”

Beast Boy stiffened. He turned slowly to look at Cyborg. “Excuse me?”

Cyborg practically _reeked_ of smugness. “I _said:_ you ain't got the balls to play me anymore, because you know you can't win on your own.”

Beast Boy jumped over the back of the couch and landed next to his cybernetic friend. “Dude, it is _so_ fucking on! I will _destroy_ you!” He picked up the other controller and watched as Cyborg started up _Street Racer 8._

**~O~**

For a moment, Raven watched the boys, having been briefly distracted and (as much as she hated to admit it) _amused_ by their argument. Cyborg had gotten some _good_ insults in on Beast Boy, and the latter wasn't exactly disproving the former's theory that he was as easy to handle as the T-Car. Now, both of them were furiously battering the buttons of their controllers and staring intently at the TV screen.

 _BB's so cute when he's all intense like that,_ Happy gushed.

 _Shut up,_ Raven replied.

 _Crushy crush crush-crush-crush!_ Rude and Brave chanted obnoxiously.

 _He is pretty cute when he's all focused like that,_ Love added unnecessarily.

 _Yeah,_ Raven agreed sarcastically. _He's so focused he doesn't even notice that he's practically wallowing in filth._ She eyed the sticky forks and plates surrounding her two friends, annoyed that everyone had just left them there before using her powers to pick the dishes up and stack them on top of the plate in her hand.

“Thanks, Raven!” Beast Boy called without looking away from the screen.

She was surprised and maybe a little happy that he'd noticed what she'd done (of course, Happy squealed joyfully at a lot of things), but that was quickly replaced by mild annoyance. He could have done this himself!

“Whatever.” she grumbled. She levitated all the dishes to the sink and left the room. She needed a nice, _long_ meditation session and felt like going to the roof. She considered teleporting but decided it was better to walk. She did admittedly feel better as a result of the meeting, not that she would ever tell Robin that, but she was still probably a bit unstable, and it wasn't wise to overexert herself when she felt that way.

She was almost to the stairwell that led to the roof when, as she passed the evidence room, she noticed light coming from it. Curious, she looked inside and was mildly surprised to find Robin sitting at his computer. A tentative nudge with her empathy told her that, once again, he was brooding. She shook her head. Their “meeting” didn't seem to be helping him much. She walked into the evidence room.

“I thought you were with Starfire.” she said by way of greeting.

He didn't look up. “I was, but then I realized the quarterly reports came in.”

Raven couldn't resist rolling her eyes. “And how did Starfire take you throwing her over for budget reports?”

“These aren't budget reports,” Robin said stiffly. “They're more like...status updates. It's a program Cyborg developed. It tracks sightings of our more notorious criminals and villains and compiles the data into reports for me.”

“That didn't answer my question.”

“Starfire understands how important it is to keep track of villains.” He was silent for a moment. “And I told her we were going to Bianchi's later.”

 _There_ it was. Raven smirked slightly. “Fancy.”

“Yep.”

“Is that what you're brooding about or did your meeting not help _you_ as much as it was supposed to?”

“I'm not brooding.” Robin replied, almost petulantly.

“Uh-huh.”

“Not about the meeting.” Robin amended.

“So, what _is_ bothering you?” Raven asked.

“I'm not bothered. I'm... confused.” he finally admitted.

“About what?”

“Almost all our major villains are either in jail or still frozen with the Brotherhood, but three are still unaccounted for.”

“Are they particularly dangerous?”

“Slade is.” Robin replied, a hard edge to his voice.

Raven sighed. “Who are the others?”

“Red-X...”

Raven rolled her eyes. It _had_ to be Robin's sore spots that were missing. She almost missed the third name.

“And Doctor Light.”

“Doctor Light?” she asked, surprise creeping into her voice.

“Yes. This is actually the fourth report in a row that hasn't given me anything on him.”

Raven's surprise increased. The _fourth_ consecutive quarterly report?

“So, he hasn't been seen in a year?”

 _“Over_ a year, _”_ Robin corrected. “Not since every titan and honorary titan we know ganged up on him.”

“Is there even a jailbreak in your data?”

“No. He made bail.” Robin said, grimacing slightly in disgust.

“Who'd bail him out?” Raven asked, also disgusted. She found him pathetic and couldn't care less if he was out when he wasn't causing trouble, but there were...rumors about Light that made her prefer the idea of him being in prison.

“He did it himself. Used one of the properties where one of his lairs were. Before you ask, he did jump bail, and the property is now no longer his.”

“Maybe the fight with all the titans was enough to scare him out of Jump City?” Raven guessed.

“Maybe, but he should still show up _somewhere,_ ” Robin said.

“How extensive is the network that collects the data?”

“I can see around Jump, surrounding towns, and along the California border.”

“Impressive.” Raven admitted.

“It would be if he'd shown up in any of those areas. It's like he vanished.”

“Like Slade and Red-X.”

“Yes.” Robin gritted, and Raven could tell this was getting to him.

“How long has it been since you got anything on the other two?”

“Slade: not since Trigon, so...almost two years. Red-X: not since Ding Dong Daddy. Almost eighteen months. And now Doctor Light of all people has been gone a year.”

“What are you going to do now?” Raven asked after a minute of slightly awkward silence.

“I'm going to put some feelers out, see if Titans East or any of the honoraries have seen him.” Robin sighed and stretched.

“He's probably just laying really low since our last fight with him.” Raven said. She hoped it was reassuring. “Doctor Light isn't exactly someone like Slade or Red-X.”

“No. He's not.” Robin admitted, and Raven could feel that even though he didn't _like_ not knowing, he felt better knowing it wasn't someone too dangerous who'd gone missing.

“Don't you have somewhere to be?” Raven asked, hoping he wouldn't waste too much time and energy on someone like _Doctor Light._

“I do have a date with my kinda angry alien girlfriend that I should probably keep.”

“You think?” Raven asked, smirking again.

Robin smirked back. “Yeah.”

With that, he shut down his computer and began clearing up the workspace.

Shrugging slightly, Raven left the room and finally made her way to the roof. Taking a deep breath, she felt her body begin to calm, and she began to levitate in the lotus position.

“Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Teen Titans or the bits of A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones that I'm shamelessly ripping off.

When Changeling woke, his mouth was open, but the scream didn't come out. It remained lodged inside him, so large and oppressive, it kept him from breathing. It felt like there was a boulder on his chest. He struggled, trying to breathe and fight an enemy he was sure was there, but after several moments he finally realized that he was in his bedroom, not on a gray, deserted street, like he had thought. More importantly, he was alone. Slade wasn't with him.

It had all been a dream.

His blocked scream dissolved and left him in a long, shuddering sigh. He sat up and looked around the room, just to be sure his first impression was right. He couldn't see anyone. He couldn't smell anyone. He really was alone. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs, pressing his face into them. Before he squeezed his eyes shut, a peek at his clock told him it was after three in the morning.

This nightmare was the seventh he'd had in as many nights. Each night the dream was different. Or, different as in it _started_ differently. Each one began with him reliving a happy memory of Raven. Tonight, for example, had featured Raven dragging him to the largest library in the world. They'd been on their honeymoon, and though there had been many things he'd wanted to do besides tour an old building full of old books they couldn't even touch, he'd enjoyed the rare glimpse of almost childish enthusiasm Raven had displayed (at least by her standards). Right before they made it to the library however, the dream turned, and once again, he was having the same nightmare.

Just like before, Raven had suddenly gone into mission mode, her voice cool and forceful. She'd said that something was wrong, that this wasn't where 'we' were, and, just like before, when he'd asked what she was talking about, Slade crashed the dream with all the appropriateness of a record scratch at an opera performance. What happened next was the worst part. Raven disappeared and then reappeared in the clothes she'd been wearing when she died. While he tried and failed to get to her, he was made to watch as her stomach and chest ripped open and her body turned to ash. He'd only reach her right when she told him to 'find us' and then collapsed into a pile of dust. The only thing Slade would say the entire time was that Raven would return to him “when the sun rose in the west and set in the east” and all that bullshit. As soon as the last word left the cryptic bastard's mouth, the dream would end, and Changeling would wake, trying to fight an enemy that wasn't there. The dreams scared him shitless every time, but thankfully, he hadn't screamed since the first one. As far as his friends knew, he was fine.

Garfield let out a mirthless chuckle. He wished he was fine, but he knew he wasn't. Hell, he wasn't even sure why he wasn't fine. He straightened his legs and angrily slammed his fists into the mattress. None of this made any sense! He hadn't had nightmares this bad since Raven's death, and even then, they hadn't starred _Slade_ of all people. Slade hadn't killed Raven. Gar hadn't even seen him in years, not since the psycho had mocked him about Terra _wanting_ forget. Why would he be dreaming about Slade? If he was relapsing in his grief or whatever—or if he was simply losing his mind—shouldn't he be having nightmares about the person who'd _actually_ killed his wife?

Without warning, flashes of memories sparked through his mind. He saw long hair so blonde, it looked white. He heard a roar, followed by a bloodcurdling scream and then wet gurgling and silence. He felt flesh tear like wet felt beneath his claws and wetness, thick and hot, pooling in his palms. The memory was over in an instant, but its impact was enough. He yanked up the small trashcan by his bed and vomited into it. Several waves of sickness later, when all he was doing was dry heaving, he put the trashcan back. The muscles in his stomach continued to spasm, and his heart was racing. When he lifted his hand to wipe his mouth, he realized he was trembling.

 _Calm your body,_ a voice in his head instructed, _regain control._

He closed his eyes and focused on taking deep, slow breaths. After a moment, the lurching sensation in his stomach began to subside.

 _Clear your mind,_ the voice advised. Unsurprisingly, it sounded like Raven. _Find your center._

He didn't usually like meditating, but right now, he decided it might be a good idea. He continued to breathe deeply, and already, he could feel his heartbeat beginning to slow. With a small, relieved smile, he pulled himself into the lotus position.

Raven once told him that the mantra was the most important part of her meditation style. What was actually _said_ wasn't important; for her, it was simply easier to use the incantation for her powers as a mantra. What _really_ mattered was choosing a phrase that anchored the meditating person into some kind of rhythm. It allowed the person to measure their breathing and heart rate, reach a state of calm faster, and stay calm longer. For him though, no mantra he tried ever _felt_ right. It didn't help pull him into a deep state of calm like Raven's seemed to. No matter what he said, the most he'd gotten out of meditation was mild relaxation. He'd eventually given up and chalked it up to meditation not being for him. However, this time, when he let out the breath he'd been holding, what came out was:

“Jalan atthirari anni.”

He opened his eyes and let out a small huff of incredulous laughter. Of course _that_ particular phrase felt right. After all, the inspiration for it had calmed him more than once when it mattered. He closed his eyes again and took another deep breath, letting it out with his new mantra.

“Jalan atthirari anni.”

He thought of his nightmares. He thought of Slade. He thought of Mumbo and of the vision he'd had because of him. He thought of Raven. He thought of the baby, Angel. He thought of their murderer. He thought of all these things and then of the mess of feelings that came with them.

Losing Raven had felt like someone had taken an ax to his chest, splitting flesh and shattering bone, until he was wounded so deeply that each breath he took aggravated the pain. Over time, the pain had faded into a dull throb.

And then he saw Raven again, this time with the child he'd never had a chance to meet.

The wound had torn itself open once again, this time even deeper, and the bones had shattered into even finer fragments. When he thought of them, it hurt so much to breathe—to live—when they didn't. In a way, he hurt worse than before, because he'd thought he was getting better.

 _Psych!_ yelled a delighted voice in his mind that reminded him of Mumbo.

He missed his wife. He was overjoyed that he'd finally got to meet his little girl. He was angry that they'd both been taken from him _again_. He despised Mumbo for reopening a wound that had been healing. He was grateful to Mumbo for the few minutes he'd had with the people he loved most, even if it had all been in his head. He blamed Mumbo for the nightmares he was having now. He hated his nightmares. He hated Slade for appearing in them just to mock him about how he'll never see Raven again. He was confused about Slade's presence in his dreams. He thought about Raven's killer. He blamed her more than Mumbo for the turmoil he was experiencing now. He hated Raven's killer. He felt guilty about Raven's killer.

Remembering Raven's few meditation lessons, he thought about all this chaos and pain, thought about it in great detail. And then, with a long exhalation of his mantra, he let it go. He determinedly pushed it all from his mind until all he could see was a bright, white space. His center. It was kind of blurry, but Raven said it was like that the first time someone unlocked it. Designing it would happen in later meditation sessions. Right now, he just needed a place to feel calm.

He looked around the space. Though it was white and brightly lit, it didn't feel stark like a science lab or doctor's office, and for that, he was thankful. He didn't even want to _think_ about how fucked up it would be if the calmest part of his mind was a science lab. What would be next? A cage? Shaking his head to clear those dark thoughts, he focused on the space around him. It was not a lab. The light was warm, like sunshine, and the floor beneath him felt like plush carpet, not tile. It was nice here. Even though he couldn't see all of it, he felt safe in this place.

For a time, he pictured himself in this safe, blurry room, separated from the world until he was ready to take it on again. The exhalation of his mantra was the only sound he made. When he finally opened his eyes again, he felt unbelievably relaxed, practically boneless. He smiled slightly.

“Looks like you were on to something after all, Rae-Rae.” he whispered and then grimaced. His throat still burned from his earlier...episode. He needed water. Uncrossing his legs, he stood up and stretched. In his relaxed state, he relished the feeling of muscles shifting and warming beneath his skin. Smiling again, he padded out of the room. He walked silently to the kitchen, listening for any signs that his friends were awake. They'd been acting a little funny around him since the first Slade dream, and he didn't like the idea of having to explain what he was doing up at four in the morning. He made it to the kitchen without incident and then got himself a glass of water. As he sipped at it, he thought about what he would do next.

He honestly didn't feel like going back to sleep. He didn't think he was going to have any more nightmares, but he didn't want to risk it. He eyed the TV for a second and then shook his head. Watching something or starting up a videogame might wake his friends, and no matter what he said, they'd draw their own conclusions about why he was awake at such a weird time. He looked around the ops center and saw nothing that could _quietly_ entertain him. He thought about walking on the beach or going to the roof, but he was feeling too lazy.

 _I could read,_ he thought. It wasn't his favorite hobby, like it had been Raven's, but he enjoyed it sometimes. Plus, it was quiet.

Decision made, he rinsed out his empty glass and then left the ops center. Still listening for any signs of his friends, he made his way to a room that had been pretty much vacant for years. He personally hadn't been in it in almost two.

For a second, he just stared at the nameplate on the door. Once, as a joke, he'd used a Sharpie to add “‘s Library” to the end of the name. That was really all Raven had used her old bedroom for once they'd gotten serious; that, and meditation. He'd also drawn some bad doodles of candles and books around the nameplate. They looked out of place next to the blocky, official-looking letters of Raven's name, and part of him wished he hadn't done it. The rest of him simply smirked a little at the memory. Raven's reaction to his act of vandalism had been to _not_ react until she nearly drove him crazy with terrified anticipation.

He keyed in the code to enter Raven's room, and the door slid open with a soft hiss. He stepped into the room and looked around, his enhanced vision allowing him to see quite a bit, even with the lights off.

“Yep,” he said aloud. “Still uber creepy.”

He shut the door behind him and turned on the light. It didn't really do much to brighten the room, in his opinion. It just made the creepiness easier to see. For the most part, Raven's room hadn't really changed from when she had lived in it. The carpet was still blue, the walls were still black and covered in creepy relics (like those spooky theatre masks that stared at him), and the furniture still seemed to loom over him like the villain in the _Wicked Scary_ movies. Only a few things were different.

The most obvious difference was that most of Raven's furniture, like her bed and dresser, was gone, having been moved to his room years ago. The only furniture that remained was a blue, wing-backed chair on the left side of the room and several large bookcases that lined each of the four walls. Most of them stretched from floor to ceiling, and they were all jammed with books of various age and condition. The second most obvious difference made him question the wisdom of coming here.

Boxes were scattered all over the floor, and a combination of faded but instantly recognizable scents wafted from all of them.

About ten months after Raven's death, Gar's friends had decided that he'd had enough time to mope in his room. They'd burst in one afternoon while he was still sleeping and began packing up the stuff he didn't need.

Raven's stuff.

Her uniforms, civilian clothes, toiletries, spare magic things, some things she'd knitted for the baby, and even the book she'd been reading before she died—a copy of _Macbeth—_ had all been tossed into boxes and carried out while he'd screamed and cursed at his friends. It felt like they were packing _her_ away to collect dust and be forgotten, not just her stuff, and he'd told them so, among other, less polite, things, as venomously as possible. All he'd wanted was for them to leave him and Raven's things alone.

His friends had ignored him of course, and when he'd burst into frustrated tears of hurt and outrage—an outburst that embarrassed him now—Vic had simply tossed him over his shoulder and carried him into the ops center while Dick and Kori finished the job. They boxed up the last of Raven's things and then thoroughly cleaned his by then disgusting room. They did his laundry, bedding and curtains included, scrubbed inexplicable stains off the walls, shampooed his carpet, and replaced every light bulb in the once bright room.

When he'd finally been allowed back in, the wall by the bed was the first thing to catch his attention. A wrought iron, collage-style picture frame, as long as the bed itself and half as wide, hung next to his bed, courtesy of Kori, and it was full of pictures. Some were of the entire team. Others were of gatherings with all the titans, including the Titans East and the honoraries. He and Raven could be seen in all of them. The rest of the pictures had a similar theme: him and Raven. There were the team pictures. There were goofy pics he'd snuck her into when they were kids, pictures of them once they'd started dating, their second wedding (Raven had eventually agreed to a 'real' ceremony after their elopement to appease a sulky Kori), pictures of Raven when she was pregnant, and finally, ultrasound pics of their baby.

It was then he understood. His friends hadn't wanted him to forget Raven, far from it. They just didn't want him to suffer by not moving on. He'd turned back to his friends and found them all staring at him with expressions ranging from hopeful to cautious. He'd given them a small smile, to let them know he understood, and then they'd hugged him. It was only after that that he'd truly begun to heal. He'd started sleeping and eating better, accepting the odd offer to go out with his friends, and getting back into his old hobbies. The wound had begun to scab over.

In the eight months it had been since his “intervention,” as he called it, he'd never asked where his friends had taken Raven's things, and they'd never said. In hindsight, it was obvious that they'd be here, and he wondered if it was a good idea for him to stay. The thing with Mumbo had really fucked him up, and the nightmares he was having weren't helping. And now, every breath he took taunted him with the old scents of jasmine and lavender. It was probably a bad idea for him be here, but he didn't want to leave. He came here to read. He was going to do it.

Wondering if Raven might have been on to something when she called him a masochist, he made his way to the center of the room and scanned the bookcases around him. The ones near the back, around the window where Raven liked to meditate, he knew were off limits. Those were the ones _only_ Raven could handle, and he'd learned that the hard way. The one time he'd tried to look at those books, one of them had bitten off the tip of his pointer finger. The books against the left wall, behind the wing-backed chair, were ones that were safe for him to touch but too boring for him to bother with. Those were Raven's too. The shelves behind him, on either side of the doorway, housed 'his' books: animal books and comics and sci-fi novels that he'd already read cover to cover. To the right was reading material they'd _both_ enjoyed: a truly eclectic mix of novels and comics featuring everything from _Oedipus the King_ to every _Deadpool_ comic they could get their hands on. He went to that section of shelves. He examined the bookcases, seeing books he loved but never would have touched had it not been for Raven and comics that Raven had loved but would never have even looked at, had it not been for him. He finally picked an old favorite of his, _A Midsummer Night's Dream,_ and made his way to the blue chair near the opposite wall. Sitting down, he looked at the book in his hands and couldn't help but remember when he'd gotten it.

Years ago, when he and Raven had been in that awkward place between unlikely friends and even more unlikely lovers, the city had hosted a charity auction featuring donations from the Teen Titans. Each of them had been required to give an autographed uniform, and then whatever else they wanted to donate was up to them. Not surprising to most, Raven had come up with a box of unwanted books, one of them being the book he held in his hands.

_“Hey, Rae!” he called, plucking the book from the box. “How come you're throwin' this one away?”_

_“I'm not 'throwing it away.' I'm donating it.” Raven said in her usual monotone._

Well, that's not fun at all, _he thought to himself._

_“How come you're 'donating' this, then?” he asked. “Seems like Old Billy Shakes would be your thing.”_

That _got a rise out of her._

 _“Don't ever_ _refer to Shakespeare as 'Old Billy Shakes' in my presence again.”_

_“See? Now that just proves my point.” He tossed the book back into the box. “You get that defensive over me messin' up his name, why are you throwing away one of his books?”_

_Raven took the book out of the box again. “Once again, I'm not throwing it away. I'm donating it, and the reason I'm donating it, not that it means anything to you, is that this book is translated into modern English. I prefer Shakespeare's works in their original style.”_

_He stared at her. “So... you're throwing away a book, because it's easier to read?” he asked slowly. He wanted to make sure he had this right before he asked why the hell anyone would do that._

_Raven had narrowed her eyes at him when he'd mentioned 'throwing away' the book, but she didn't comment on it again. Instead, she simply shook her head. “I don't like translated versions of Shakespeare's works, because a lot of the meaning is lost.”_

_“So, it's 'Lost in Translation'?” he joked._

_“Yes,” Raven deadpanned. “And though I can tell that was meant to be a joke, I fail to see how it could be.”_

_“Because there's like a movie with that...name...” He trailed off when Raven's blank expression once again proved that she did_ not _find him funny._

_After a second of awkward silence (at least on his end), he spoke again. “Yeah, I still don't get why you're getting rid of this.” In his mind, Shakespeare was like bookworm Jesus, and Raven was like bookworm High Priestess. Bookworm High Priestess getting rid of one of bookworm Jesus's books did not compute._

_His confusion must have shown, because Raven let out an irritated huff. “Since you seem to be so against me giving this away, you keep it. You might actually like it, since it's easier to read.” She was gone before he'd had time to tease her about giving him gifts._

_He looked down at the book in his hands and made a face. The only Shakespeare play he'd ever read was_ Romeo and Juliet _when he was twelve. Rita had recommended it when he said he wanted to be an actor. He remembered finishing it and being simultaneously disappointed and disgusted that this mess of a story was considered “The Most Iconic Love Story of All Time._ TM”

He definitely hadn't wanted to be subjected to another story that was stupid and not in a funny way. However, because he'd been kinda crushing on Rae, he'd refused to throw away one of the few things she'd ever given him. He'd kept it, and then one day, when he was between comics, he'd finally broken down and read it. To this day, he thought a guy named Bottom having his head turned into that of an ass (the donkey kind, but still...) was comedy gold. It was still one of his favorite stories.

It was also probably the one that reminded him the most of Raven.

He put the book down on the arm of the chair, face down, so he wouldn't have to look at it anymore. He was sitting in his dead wife's old bedroom, surrounded by her scent, with a book she'd once recommended for him after having yet another nightmare about watching her die. This went beyond masochistic.

“Yeah,” he said roughly. “I'm not okay.”

 _Clear your mind,_ the voice in his head repeated. _Find your center._

Eager to get back to that safe place he'd finally found in his head, he quickly crossed his legs and started breathing deeply.

“Jalan atthirari anni.” he exhaled.

Much faster than before, he was back in the white, sunlit room that was his center. Determined to stay a while, where everything was calm, he focused intently on the space, wanting to make it look like a real room, rather than just a blurry spot. After a while, he had a room around him that was about the size of his bedroom in real life, though it looked much bigger, because it was empty. The walls were whitewashed wood, and beneath his bare feet was plush, white carpet. He dug his toes into it and smiled at the feeling. No wonder Raven had liked to meditate so much. It was nice here.

He looked around the room and noticed that the corners weren't really defined like they would be in a real room. Wondering if he could do something about that, he went first to the corner to his immediate left. Much to his satisfaction, it solidified just as he'd intended. He walked to the corner directly opposite him, and this one solidified around him as well. From there, he walked to the upper right corner of the room, and, just like the others, it solidified for him until the room looked as real as any outside his head. It was then he turned to face the wall that had been behind him, and he was surprised to see what he assumed was a window in the middle of it. He couldn't see outside it, because it was completely covered by a pair of mismatched curtains. The right one was blue, the left orange. Curious, he walked over to the window and stopped about a foot away from it. He didn't remember putting a window in here, but he supposed it made sense to have one since he pictured his center as a room lit by sunlight.

“What did I tell you?” familiar voice said behind him.

He whirled, and at the sight of the speaker, it felt like all the air had been knocked out of him.

“Raven...” he whispered.

She stood against the opposite wall in full uniform. Her hood was up, but he could see her glaring at him in annoyance.

“Garfield.” She pronounced the name loudly and carefully, the way she said it when she was annoyed with him. “What did I tell you?”

“I don't know.” he said honestly, stepping away from the window.

Suddenly, Raven disappeared.

“Rae!” Gar yelled, upset. He ran a few steps toward the opposite wall.

“Did you put this window here?” she asked. He whirled around again, and there she was standing next to the window. Now, the curtains were cracked, but he still couldn't see outside.

“No...” he said carefully. He took slow steps toward her, afraid she would disappear on him again if he made any sudden moves. When he was about a foot from her, he stopped and spoke again. “Or at least... I don't remember making it.”

“What did I tell you?” she repeated again, appearing even more frustrated.

“About what?!” he demanded, feeling just as annoyed at her now. He hated it when she got all cryptic.

“About your mindscape. What did I tell you about constructing your mindscape?”

“I do it.” he replied, remembering a meditation lesson from years ago.

“Exactly,” Raven replied. “Constructing a formal mindscape for meditative purposes is a very conscious experience.”

Changeling cocked his head. “Say what now?”

Raven rolled her eyes, and Changeling bit back a fond smile. He'd even missed her looking at him like he was an idiot. It was nice seeing something so familiar, even if he was pretty sure he was starting to go off the deep end.

“ _You're_ the one who makes your center. Every part of it is on purpose. You don't get stuff like a window on accident. _I_ shouldn't even be here if you didn't imagine me here. Did you?”

Gar thought about it for a second. “No.”

“So, you have a window and me in here without your conscious consent.” Raven prodded.

Gar frowned. That sounded kinda bad.

“So...” he said. “Why’s there a window in my head? What does it mean?” He turned to look at her and started when he saw she was already facing him, her hood down.

“Rae?” he asked slowly.

She didn't answer, and her usual blank expression remained unchanged.

“Rae-Rae?” he asked, purposely using a nickname she hated. He poked at her shoulder. Despite the weirdness of the situation, he was happy that his hand hadn't gone through her or something, like he'd kind of expected it to.

Still, she didn't answer, and upon closer inspection, Gar realized that not only was her face blank, her eyes were too. She didn't appear to be really looking at anything.

“Raven!” he exclaimed, alarmed.

“Find us.” she whispered and then disappeared.

“What does that even mean?!” he yelled at the ceiling, angered at the reference to his nightmares. He looked back at the window. Just as his gaze connected with it, the curtains were yanked open by an unseen force, and he was thrown across the room. From the opposite wall, Changeling could see a window much larger than he'd expected. It took up almost the entire wall now. Outside the window, Raven's face appeared, her eyes glowing red. On her forehead was the mark of Scathe.

It felt like his stomach dropped into his shoes. “No...”

“The gem was born of evil's fire. The gem shall be his portal.” she said in a rapid, mechanical voice. She shot away from the window, revealing that her entire body was covered in markings, and she floated in the lotus position. She looked exactly the way she had when she became the portal. “He comes to claim. He comes to sire the end of all things mortal.”

“No!” Gar yelled, springing to his feet. A earthshaking roar sent him back to the ground.

Raven continued to chant, and she didn't stop even when she disappeared from view. In her place Trigon appeared, sitting on a throne made from the gutted Titans tower. Around him was a lake of lava and a fiery wasteland.

“Perhaps a remnant of my daughter still exists.” the demon rumbled.

As suddenly as he appeared, he was gone, but his voice remained, impossible to ignore. Over and over again, he suggested that part of Raven still existed, and his words wove themselves around the prophecy that Raven's voice continued to chant into a cacophony that made Changeling clap his hands over his ears and shut his eyes.

“No more!” he yelled over the noise.

The immense roar sounded again, startling him into dropping his hands and opening his eyes, and the first thing he saw was the face of Slade in the window. As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared, and once again, Slade's voice rang out, somehow managing to both blend in with the other voices and remain distinct.

“When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east...”

In the window, a blinding light appeared on the left side and then flew to the right in an arch, getting dimmer as it went. By the time it reached the right side, the light was no brighter than a candle flame.

_“The gem was born of evil's fire...”_

“When the seas go dry...”

_“Perhaps a remnant of my daughter still exists...”_

A wave of blue and black crashed over the ball of light, and both disappeared with a tormented scream.

“When the mountains blow away in the wind like leaves...”

_“The gem shall be his portal...”_

Blue eyes appeared before him before shutting and disappearing.

_“He comes to claim. He comes to sire the end of all things mortal.”_

“When you find another woman able to carry a changeling's child...”

He saw the familiar form of a gray-skinned woman with purple hair.

“That is when Raven will return to you.”

_“The gem...”_

_“...still exists.”_

Suddenly, the orange and blue curtains in his mind yanked themselves closed, and Changeling's eyes shot open. Instead of an empty, white room around him, he saw a dark room full of bookshelves. He was in Raven's room again.

He'd been booted from his own mind!

Putting a hand on his chest like it would slow his racing heart, he closed his eyes again and tried to calm himself. When it felt like he could stand up without having a heart attack, he opened his eyes again.

“What...the _hell..._ was that?!” he panted aloud.

The last part of his vision played through his mind again.

“ _The gem...still exists_.”

He sat bolt upright in his chair. The gem thing had been a prophecy. What if the Slade thing was a prophecy? As cryptic as he _seemed_ to be, his taunts and stuff had always made sense in the end. And then there was Trigon's “perhaps a remnant of my daughter still exists” thing.

Gar stood up and began to pace. Raven had survived the fucking end of the world. Two stab wounds should have been cake, but somehow, she died anyway. Or they _thought_ she died. What if she wasn't dead? What if this was just like what happened when she became the portal? Even though they'd hoped it wasn't true, they'd all sorta believed that Raven had died because of Trigon. She hadn't though. A part of her had still been around. What if that's what was happening now?

 _And what if this is just wishful thinking?_ asked a voice in his head that sounded a lot like Dick. _You're grieving the loss of your wife and child. You had a vivid hallucination about them a little over a week ago. It's completely normal for you to have a setback, grieving-wise._

 _This is_ not _normal!_ Garfield shot back.

 _Then maybe you're just goin' nuts,_ supplied an unhelpful voice that sounded like Vic.

 _Maybe I am,_ he thought, sinking to the floor and putting his head in his hands. This was too good or too weird to be true; he couldn't decide which yet. All he knew was that it probably wasn't true. How and why the hell would Slade be involved if it was?

 _You_ just _heard that you don’t have things like windows in your center on accident,_ said the cranky voice that reminded him of Raven. _Are you giving up on me?_

“I can't,” he said out loud, and a tear slid down his cheek. “Wishful thinking or not, I can't just give up.”

Whether it was wishful thinking or not, Gar knew that they'd had weird, supernatural junk happen to them before. It was possible. It was possible that Rae was still alive, just like after Trigon. He was sure of it.

And there was no harm in looking into it, right?

 _Other than the harm to your mental health,_ the Dick voice grumbled.

Gar ignored that thought. If the vision thing he'd had wasn't true—if Raven really was gone—then at least he'd know for sure, and he could get on with his life. If it _was_ true—if he could find Raven when the sun “rose in the west and set in the east” and all that—then he'd get his wife back! He might get his family back.

Quashing any remaining doubt in his mind, he looked around the room. He really had no idea how to go about “looking into this,” but he had a feeling the books were probably the best place to start. He had to do—he grimaced— _research._ He stood up and started to examine the books that were exclusively Raven's and safe for him to touch. He scrunched his face in thought. No. He needed research space first! He went back to the wing-back chair and dragged it into the center of the room, sneezing at the dust it kicked up by scraping against the old carpet. When it was where he liked it, he began picking up boxes and stacking them into a makeshift desk in front of the chair.

 _Then_ he went back to the wall of books that were safe for him to touch but only Raven had used. Unsure of what he was looking for exactly, he pulled everything in English off the shelves. He looked at the ten books in hands and then back at the bookcases. He sighed when he noticed that he'd barely made a dent. He took the books back to his box desk and then went back to the shelves. He stared at the books for a moment, and then pulled out everything in French. He could read that too. This haul was bigger, about twenty books, and he carried them back to his research space. He piled a couple of more boxes on the floor next to the chair, expanding his table, and then went back to the wall of “Raven's” books. He noticed that there were several books and even scrolls on the shelves that were written in Azarathian. He spoke the language better than he could read it, but he decided it was worth a shot. Shrugging, he swept an Azarathian shelf bare and then carried the books back to his boxes.

He went back to the bookcases and cleared out everything in Azarathian, carrying it all back to his improvised desk. He took a moment to sort the books into piles that wouldn't fall over and then went back to the bookcases. As far as he could tell, there were no more English, French, or Azarathian books there. He stepped back to examine all the shelves. He'd managed to clear away about half of Raven's books for his research, which was more than he'd expected but less than he'd hoped for. As far as he could tell, the rest of them were in the shit ton of languages Raven had spoken, but he couldn't. He recognized Latin words in most of the remaining titles and German in some others, but the rest were a lost cause. After a moment, he shrugged. He could read English and French, which were “Romantic” languages. Maybe, if he found absolutely _nothing_ useful in the sixty odd books he'd managed to pull out, he could try the Latin ones.

He went back to his chair and cracked open a particularly thick English book about demons. When he opened it, it reminded him a great deal of the few text books he'd seen in his life. It was even split into units, and Trigon the Terrible had one devoted entirely to him. That seemed like a solid place to start. He settled in and began to read. The words were long and the text small, and despite it being about one of the scariest enemies he'd ever had to face, it was probably the driest thing he'd ever tried to read. However, he persevered. By the time sunlight shone through Raven's thick curtains, he'd managed to read all the speculation about where Trigon had come from and about the establishment of the Church of Blood.

Deciding that was a good place to stop, he stood and went to the window. He opened the curtains and squinted at the bright light. His eyes adjusted after a minute, and he tried to gauge the time by the sun's position in the sky. He was fairly sure it was about eight in the morning. His friends would be up by now, and while it was a little early for him, his being awake wouldn't be unheard of. However, he couldn't be seen coming out of Raven's old bedroom. He looked back at the books in front of his chair. He doubted his friends would understand what was going on with him right now. In fact, he was _sure_ they wouldn't understand. If he told them he'd had a _vision_ of his dead wife, Trigon, and Slade and then started babbling about prophecies, they'd cart him off to a nut house before he finished speaking. Honestly, it was probably what _he'd_ do if he was in their shoes. He'd have to keep this a secret for a while.

He morphed into a beetle and flew back to his room through the air vent.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, I'm not that great at updating anyway, but I wanted to let anyone still reading know that this will be the last one for a while. I'm currently in my last semester of college, working on my senior thesis, trying to find a job, and just...trying to figure out where to go from here. 
> 
> I have no intention of abandoning this story however. I have a draft of chapter 6 done, and I have a complete outline of the entire story done. It's just a matter of getting it written to my satisfaction.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll say right now that I don't update quickly, but I'll try to never abandon this.


End file.
